Took away your masturbating right

Overreaction over something insignificant and mundane

Geez! It was just a watch. Stop hyperventilating. Don't act like someone "took away your masturbating right".

When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

28👍 7👎

Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

1👍 1👎

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

1👍 1👎

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

50👍 14👎

Masturbinge

Masturbating as much as you can in a short period of time

“Yeah, man. My period is starting soon so i gotta masturbinge before it starts”
“Mood”

21👍 2👎

Masturbinging

Dedicating a whole day and or weekend to the act of masturbating.

George: "Aye Mike, you wanna chill this weekend?"
Mike: "Naw man, Im gonna have a nice masturbinging this weekend."
George: "Okay man, just dont forget to clean up your mess."