crap table

Refers to any debris-cluttered horizontal-topped item of furniture normally used for dining, writing/drawing, repairing/constructing, etc.

You can often tell the difference between a bachelor-pad and a couple/family-apartment simply by glancing around to observe how stuff is arranged --- if there's a lady in the house, everything will generally be neat and orderly, whereas a guy who lives alone will likely have at least one crap table where the flotsam and jetsam of typical everyday single-dude existence tends to gravitate to and then never see the light of day for months... he simply tosses his randomly-acquired tidbits there because at the time the items seem too precious/possibly-useful to discard, but then when he eventually has to rummage through his "treasures" to find some solitary item he put there six months ago, he face-palmingly wonders why he ever held onto most of the crap in the first place (extra points if he thought to drag over a wastebasket before beginning his "attack" on the pile).

sex table

A table you have sex on

Girl: I wish I had a sex table
Guy: I have one. Wanna use it just me and u?
Girl: Of course I would!

Table-flu

Being A decent Human being rather than excusing your friends behavior and racist/ableist statements.

Andrew: Wow,Sangwoo caught the table-flu
Sangwoo: Its called being Respectful you Nut-Sack.

I table

A person that thinks is a table like you right now when you typed "i table".

Me:hi who are you?
Table:i table

Fucking table slut

My "friends" let's call them Gabby, Emily, Shay, and Jori

My friends are fucking table sluts

Table Cobra

A waiter/waitress/server that is persuasive and charming at his or her table and knows how to use their charm to suggest and or recommend the up sale.

Roy is the Table Cobra at Maria's Italian Resturant in Cape Coral, Florida because when he arrives to greet his table, they are hypnotized by his suggestive charm, talking his guests into ordering a $34 entree.

table-hopper

1930s to present a necrophile the mortuary table, or slab

While showing the new embalmer the lay out, the mortuary's manager cleared her throat before instructing that the younger bodies, the ones not mangled when they met their demise, are earmarked first for hole mark for the proprietor, Old Neckie, a table-hopper from way back.