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The Van Schwack Theory, is the theory that it's very common in conversation that it is much harder and takes far longer to explain why something said is ignorant, then it does to simply say the ignorant thing.
Person 1: My friend is ignorant!
Person 2: What do you mean?
Person 1: Well they said something incredibly stupid sounding last night and it took me almost an hour to fully explain it. Like exponentially longer.
Person 2: Van Schwack.
Person 1: No, it was Kevin! Again!
Person 2: No, I mean the van schwack THEORY. You can say three words that take paragraphs to why it's ignorant. But you're right Kevin says some pretty dumb stuff. What did he say this time?
Person 1: It would take too long to explain...
Person 2: That's The Van Schwack Theory for you.
Similiar to the Hoop Earring Theory. The size of the dog correlates the level of a woman's promiscuity. The smaller the breed, the higher level of promiscuity.
"Hey man, I met this girl at the dog park. She's got a chihuahua, and she seems into me."
"She is into everyone man, its the Small Dog theory."
You are most likely ( well 85%) not being able to marry a person or wont love with their first letter of surname or English name, same with you.
Susannia Johnson most likely cant marry or won't like Sam Duthcerfiled. ( Same name theory)
The theory that posits men can solve any challenge set before them by utilizing one of two fundamental, evolutionary paradigms. These paradigms are as follows: 1) The man can overcome any obstacle by pounding his way out and 2) what cannot be pounded out can be sexualized.
The alpha females were oppressing the beta males. When the beta males failed to overcome the female through poundage, they engaged in sexualizing their own inferiority by embracing their own cuckoldage. Thence, the alpha females submitted to the Evolutionary Masculinity Theory and lost their will to oppress, thus perpetuating the Inferior Female Theory.
The theory that if a male does not masturbate or anything that causes them to nut then their nut will age. The long a male's nut ages the better it tastes for the female or male. A good comparison for nut will be wine. The longer a wine ages the better it tastes and the more of a luxury and delicacy it is.
Friend: "Hey man, you practice the Aged-nut Theory"
You: "Of course man, I'm trying to give my woman a delicious tasting nut"
So a guy is the chip and a girl is the dip. If a guy dips his chip into a bunch of dips he isn't "ruined" but if a girl puts a lot of chips into her dip, then her dip is ruined.
Guy: I dipped my chip so much
Girl: if I put chips into my dip I'd be a slut
Aka the chip and dip theory
The event or thought of not being able to stop after doing something once. The name comes from the fact that almost no one can eat just one chip, they always want more.
(In Transfomers: The Revenge Of The Fallen) Optimus Prime to Megatron: "You'll never stop at one." Optimus Prime now has a solid understanding of the Potato Chip Theory
The Potato Chip Chip Theory explains why the villains in movies never stop with killing or suppressing one person.