table eater

A table eater usually takes the name dean after falling on to a table and smashing his teeth

Omg did you see that guy smashing his teeth of the table he's such a table eater

Table 11

The coolest lunch table You will ever see. The nicest people. Funniest jokes.everyone is friends

I wish I sat at table 11
Me too

Jerk table

Table upon which multiple men pleasure themselves.

We all gathered around the jerk table.

round tabled

to be within a group of people at a party or gathering when food is ordered. But it's exactly what you craved least.

I was hanging with the guys and they said there was gonna be food at the party. I was hoping for some take-out chinese but I totally got Round tabled by some oven baked lasagna.

Mega Table

The result of the world's greatest minds coming together and devising a way where all of their numerous friends can sit at the same table. CAUTION: you will need walkie talkies

sexy ass junior: MEGA TABLE AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
stupid dumb sophomore: i wish i had enough friends and/or balls to even attempt such a great feat

Destroyer of Tables

Someone who has extremely bad luck with tables, having them fall apart with even the slightest of touches.

Person 1: sets down mug
Table 1: collapses
Person 1: brushes up against Table 2 while attempting to clean up coffee mess
Table 2: fucking explodes
Person 2: “(Person 1’s name), Destroyer of Tables”

crap table

Refers to any debris-cluttered horizontal-topped item of furniture normally used for dining, writing/drawing, repairing/constructing, etc.

You can often tell the difference between a bachelor-pad and a couple/family-apartment simply by glancing around to observe how stuff is arranged --- if there's a lady in the house, everything will generally be neat and orderly, whereas a guy who lives alone will likely have at least one crap table where the flotsam and jetsam of typical everyday single-dude existence tends to gravitate to and then never see the light of day for months... he simply tosses his randomly-acquired tidbits there because at the time the items seem too precious/possibly-useful to discard, but then when he eventually has to rummage through his "treasures" to find some solitary item he put there six months ago, he face-palmingly wonders why he ever held onto most of the crap in the first place (extra points if he thought to drag over a wastebasket before beginning his "attack" on the pile).