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closet commando

Closet commando. Those who romanticize or mimic military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to “cosplay” as a military/militia member

John boy likes to show over his AR-15 and dresses up in tactical gear at the gun range but he’s really just a closet commando

by Rook May 20, 2024


closet commando

Closet commando. Those who romanticize or mimic military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to “cosplay” as a military/militia member

John boy likes to show over his AR-15 and dresses up in tactical gear at the gun range but he’s really just a closet commando

by Rook May 20, 2024


closet commando

Closet Commando. A person who romanticizes military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.

John boy talks a big game about his AR—15 and likes posing in his tactical vest but he’s just a closet commando

by Rook May 20, 2024


Closet Jerk

Someone who acts generous during their hours on a work shift. However, they don’t act very civil during their own time outside of their occupation.

“Wow! I noticed Kyle dosen’t seem nice most of the time. But, when he is a work. He behaves well, & is very friendly. He definitely is a “Closet Jerk”

by Trippyness211 May 9, 2021


Closet Drowning

When you are in the closet (talking about your sexuality) and you have been in there so long that you're drowning in all the cum from your countless masturbations because your too alone to have sex with anyone/anything else.

Person 1: Yo, Sam has got to come out the closet soon, everyone know it
Person 2: Yeah, at this rate he'll start closet drowning

by BlackJayd November 27, 2017


Closet Rembrandt

The act of forced defecation on a vertical surface, usually in a closet or pantry.

That party was so lame I had the chance to slip into their parent's bedroom and leave a closet Rembrandt.

by piGGman March 16, 2021


Closet introvert

Someone that isn't openly the introvert they really are. Someone that comes across as bold to people that don't know them well, and mouthy to people that knew them growing up.

The introvert seemed like a bold extrovert to people that didn't know her well growing up, that was certainly her image with them, and because she benefitted from it in many ways, she wasn't going to tell anyone that didn't know her well from growing up around her that she wasn't actually an extrovert at all, she was a closet introvert.

by The Original Agahnim September 17, 2021