u/alt-no-more

Everyone said buying condoms was no big deal and nobody would say anything....

Well that was a fucking lie.

I pull up at Walgreens and I walk over to the aisle with condoms. I go “well shit, I guess i need some deodorant too.” So I pick some up and then grab a box of condoms.

I get to the checkout line, i’m standing there and this one old lady is like “excuse me son, mind me asking how old you are?” And i’m like “Ummm I’m 16?” Then she purses her lips and makes this judging ass face and says, “Aren’t you a little young to be using those?”

At this point the other 5 people in the line are all looking at me so I got angry and just started acting snarky. “Oh, my bad lady, Imma just hit it raw and hope she don’t get knocked up.” She felt offended so she shut up pretty quick.

AND THEN when I get to the front of the line, the fucking cashier scans the box, smiles and says, “first time with these?” Are you fucking kidding me? Why would he ask that? Whatever. I just said “Um no second actually.” (Even though it was actually my first).

Ughhh. Anyways I hate people. I just want to buy some condoms in peace damn.

u/alt-no-more wanted to purchase condoms and now he's a celebrity

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Good 4 u

It is good 4 u

did you hear Olivia Rodrigo's new song Good 4 u?

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Kung F-U

When you flip someone off after giving them a square hit to the jaw.

Yo man did you see Larry last night?! He punched a nigga in the jaw then flipped him off! He totally Kung F-Ued him.

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u my boy

The single nicest compliment a young man can give to another young man without having to specify 'no homo'.

Hey man, you know u my boy right?

a to the g to the u to the std

its AUGUST D EVERYONE STOP SAYING A TO THE G TO THE U TO THE SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE GAWD D A M N.

ANyways.
Agust D is "Suga" spelled backwards. He added the T for Town and the D is for Daegu, which is the town he grew up in.

A to the G to the U to the STD Yall get turned on by my tongue technology

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mon-u-mental

a term for someone who's astonishingly crazy

Working here, I've seen my share of nutjobs, but this guy was mon-u-mental.

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ctrl+F+U

From the web series Red vs Blue, Caboose's keyboard shortcut at command for every time he team kills.

Washington: "I told them Caboose did it. Apparently they already have a shortcut on their keyboard for recording his team kills"
Caboose: "Ctrl+F+U"

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