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He used his newly-invented sewing machine (duh!).
In a historic mid-1800's sewing-speed contest, Elias Howe was able to sew 250 stitches per minute on his mechanical wonder, as opposed to a mere thirty stitches that a group of professional seamstresses were able to make in that same allotment of time. I imagine that said fleet-fingered ladies exchanged astonished gawking stares and asked each other, "HOWE did he make stitches so fast???"
A: "Jim got into trouble again last night."
B : "He only has a head to separate his ears."
When someone goes Puerto Rico on someone or when someone goes to Puerto Rico during sex, it means that she/he/div. licked the other person's genitals-more specifically the other's person asshole, because the person goes singing "ay ay ay (Puerto Rico)" from the excitement.
-So, how did it go last night?
-She/he/div. went Puerto Rico on me.
Or
She/he/div. went to Puerto Rico on me and I was like "ay ay ay".
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Is a joke made from a speech President Obama made about Trayvon Martin who was shot and killed by a neighborhood watch. In the speech Obama read he said "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon". The reason this joke arisen is because many people misinterpreted it and thought he said that every black person looked the same.
Another way the joke was made is when someone dies than you'd say this. Because the speech was given when Trayvon was deceased so it was interpenetrated as "If I had a son he'd look dead".
If I had a son he would look like this.
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I stole this from Bo burnham
Bo burnham: I’m so hashtag deep
Me: what a lit song
Bo: if Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
Me: imma steal that and post it on urban dictionary
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a women offers her virginity to be taken and he accepts
"She offered her honor, he honored her offer..and all night long it was honor, offer, honor, offer.
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A phrase usually used by a guy to tell a girl that if another guy hurts her emotionally that he's there for her. Example: He will beat the living shit out of the other guy so that when his mother looks at him she says "Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ what happened?" Most commonly used when a girl is going to get with another guy when the person saying this phrase has a crush on the girl.
Sally: I might go out with Johnny.
Mike: He breaks your heart I break his legs.
Mike: I'll break him so bad, when his mom looks at him she'll say "Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ."
Sally: Wow you really mean that Mike?
Mike: Yup.
Sally: I might think twice about going out with that asshole Johnny now..
Mike's thought: oriighht
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