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a girl who is friends with a guy and the guy secretly has feelings for the girl but doesn't want to show them because the girl isn't the typical aesthetic norm that they would date
TAYLOR: I really like Luke...
BRIANA: Well, does Luke like you back?
TAYLOR: Yes, but he won't do anything about it!
BRIANA: Why not? If he likes you, there shouldn't be a problem.
TAYLOR: I'm not a size zero, I'm short and my thighs are too thick... He won't date me because I don't look like all the other girls. But, he still fucks me every now and then.
BRIANA: Damn, you're his closet piece.
A figure of speech meaning that you are being such a concealed person of the LGBTQIA+ Community (known as "closeted") that your metaphorically sitting on stuff at the back of the closet, AKA seasonal decor. (See also "you should be pretty fashionable with how long you've been in the closet")
"Everyone kept wondering why Alex never talked about their personal life, but we all knew they were so far in the closet they were sitting on Christmas."
when a person still isn't out of the closet but still has sexual intercourse with the same gender
" Joseph is such a Closet Lay , he had a one night stand with Joe but still isn't out yet"
Any person who is in the process of becoming a bro by completing bro trials or other equal feats to achieve the title of "bro". I.e, someone who wants to be a bro but is incapable at the moment. These people might be:
1. Nerds
2. Girls
3. People over the age of 27
Bro 1: Bro, that nerd is starting to bulk up.
Bro 2: Yeah man, I think I saw him at the gym the other. With out his books!
Bro 1: Dude, he's totes a closet bromosexual.
Bro 1: Dude my friend Emily is totes one of the guys, she even hooked me up with her hot friend!
Bro 2: Nice bro, that's one of the biggest bro trials to complete. She is such a closet bromosexual!
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That dude James keeps eyeing other dudes... he's such a closet Closet Monkey!
Closet multitasking is when you show up for remote meetings pretending to be in attendance but really working on something else.
Bob: Did you hear in the staff meeting that no one can take vacation in February?
Jane: No. Did Fred say that?
Bob: Absolutely. What were you closet multitasking?
The Boss: Jim, How are sales doing?
Me: crickets - no reply
The Boss: WTF, Jim? You closet multitasking?
Taking clothes that you are too lazy to put away and stuffing them under a rug.
Sophia put her clothes in her rug-closet to clean her room faster.