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closet commando

Closet commando. Those who romanticize or mimic military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to “cosplay” as a military/militia member

John boy likes to show over his AR-15 and dresses up in tactical gear at the gun range but he’s really just a closet commando

by Rook May 20, 2024


closet commando

Closet commando. Those who romanticize or mimic military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to “cosplay” as a military/militia member

John boy likes to show over his AR-15 and dresses up in tactical gear at the gun range but he’s really just a closet commando

by Rook May 20, 2024


closet commando

Closet Commando. A person who romanticizes military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.

John boy talks a big game about his AR—15 and likes posing in his tactical vest but he’s just a closet commando

by Rook May 20, 2024


Closet Jerk

Someone who acts generous during their hours on a work shift. However, they don’t act very civil during their own time outside of their occupation.

“Wow! I noticed Kyle dosen’t seem nice most of the time. But, when he is a work. He behaves well, & is very friendly. He definitely is a “Closet Jerk”

by Trippyness211 May 9, 2021


Closet Rembrandt

The act of forced defecation on a vertical surface, usually in a closet or pantry.

That party was so lame I had the chance to slip into their parent's bedroom and leave a closet Rembrandt.

by piGGman March 16, 2021


Closet Lay

when a person still isn't out of the closet but still has sexual intercourse with the same gender

" Joseph is such a Closet Lay , he had a one night stand with Joe but still isn't out yet"

by sexyboisex September 25, 2019


closet bromosexual

Any person who is in the process of becoming a bro by completing bro trials or other equal feats to achieve the title of "bro". I.e, someone who wants to be a bro but is incapable at the moment. These people might be:

1. Nerds
2. Girls
3. People over the age of 27

Bro 1: Bro, that nerd is starting to bulk up.

Bro 2: Yeah man, I think I saw him at the gym the other. With out his books!

Bro 1: Dude, he's totes a closet bromosexual.

Bro 1: Dude my friend Emily is totes one of the guys, she even hooked me up with her hot friend!

Bro 2: Nice bro, that's one of the biggest bro trials to complete. She is such a closet bromosexual!

by AkRaptorJesus November 28, 2011

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