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The most disputed collection of books in existence. Contain many life morals, Logic Flaws, and contradictions. WILL cause a heated argument with a zealous Christian if you even dare question so much as a word in it Often thumped by devout followers and used as an excuse to preform radical, and absurd acts. It's meanings are misinterpreted, and skewed by the Bible thumpers that "study it".
Bible Thumper: HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD WORD ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST WHO DIED FOR YOUR SINS? NO? IT STATES IT IN THE BIBLE, WHICH IF YOU DON'T READ AND ACCEPT AS THE WORD OF GOD YOU WILL GO TO HELL! BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BE SAVED! JUST COME TO OUR CHURCH AND----
Me: Kthanksbai *slams door*
Bible Thumper: BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIGIOUS QUOTE BLAH BLAH BLAH, TALK UNTIL I FEEL JUSTIFIED EVEN THOUGH THE DOOR WAS SHUT IN MY FACE. BLAH BLAH BLAH I DON'T QUESTION FUNDAMENTAL FLAWS OF RELIGION AND THE BIBLE. BLAH BLAH BLAH JOHN 3:16 BLAH BLAH BLAH I MOLEST CHILDREN.
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Some people believe the bible is the word of God and that you shouldn't believe any Man because we are fundamentally flawed. The thing these people don't realize is that Man wrote the bible. No, God did not TELL them what to write. Some people thought of some great ways to control people so they constructed this bible and made a MYTH about how this GOD told them to write this bullshit about the world and what you should do.
the bible is not something you should worship. It is a work of fiction written by man.
Would you worship Of Men and Mice?
ooo the bible! if you dont read it and dont believe in god you are going to HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY WITH NO POSSIBILITY OF REDEMTION!!! I will pray for you!!
"no thanks."
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In the beginning the bountiful Lord created war. It is not known why God in his majesty did such a silly thing. He was grounded for a week. As if it wasn't bad enough he also had a baby with someone else's wife and it was naughty. Around this time God invented condoms but the Catholics confiscated them. They were strawberry flavoured as well. God was really sneaky and then invented femidoms, but no one used them because they looked silly. To make up for the condom incident God invented peace and also pizza. God then killed his son because he was stealing this thunger (literally). And then God had a new son with the angel Gabrielle and called it Chuck Norris.
THE END.
The Bible is always right.
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An annoying and seemingly unending collection of literary works that were established by one story that was told to an old man by a talking bush.
Gradually, the story was recollected and rewritten and is now worshipped by brainwashed followers of an unproven historical event.
The millions of homes in which this book inhabits persist that followers symbolically eat the flesh and drink the blood of Christ, who is Jewish and his own father.
The book has sexist innuendoes such as Adam being made in "God's" likeness where as Eve was made of a piece of Adam's rib bone and dust.
The most fantastic piece of fiction ever written.
"That story we had to read could never happen."
"Yeah, just like the Bible."
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An ingenious scam developed by book salesmen in 0BC
They wrote a book called 'The Bible' which was a #1 Best Seller across the middle east and then spread across the planet.
'The Bible' tells the story of Jesus and all his pals.
These salesmen, and Jesus, slowly gathered a large number of followers and plotted to take over the universe.
1.
Friend: I just finished reading 'The Bible', it's awesome
You: Yeah, I hope there's a sequel
2.
Friend: Man, I hate those 'Door-to-Door Biblemen'
You: Give them a break, Jesus told them to do it.
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the bible is violent as fuck, if the bible were a movie and god wasn't willing to make any cuts the mpaa would deem it violent enough to get an nc-17 rating, the bible would only play in certain art house theaters and only gross a small amount of money, upon the bibles release on dvd the bible would not be available at walmart, best buy, blockbuster and many other retailers, the bible would not be shown on cable often. the bible would soon be forgotten about as most nc-17 rated films are.
the bible is also the best selling book ever made. it contains more sex and violence then any book ever written. people known as catholics want for you to read this graphicly violent and sexually explicit account of supposed real life events so badly, that they will give you a copy for free at any church.
the bible is an extremley violent book
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1. Something that causes alcoholics to be become born again christians, then start drinking again.
2. Something Bush refers to but he cant read.
3. Is full of fictional stories, as Adam and Eve and a guy who lived inside a whale (how can you take this book seriously?)
4. Something people worship because they ignore science and listen to what mommy and daddy said because they're always right.
5. Purely fictional
6. Is disproven by evolution/big bang/laws of thermodynamics
christian: Im Sorry sir, but the bible says to lynch niggers.
african american: but the bible has no proof or says why you lynch black people.
christian: but your a nigger
dundundun
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