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Bible

Shrek

I read the shrek script religiously every night in the same way that Christian's read the bible every night.

by Eddie the Head May 20, 2021

2๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


bibled

when u r in need and a very kind friend smacks u in the face with the perfect bible verse in ur time of need :)

โ€œyouโ€™ve been bibledโ€

example:

"im anxious"

"cast all ur anxiety on Him because he cares for u <3"

"you just 'bibled' me"

by kenhoo December 1, 2022


The Bible

A fictional book used to preach and teach good morals, but somehow along the way it was taken seriously by people, and for thousands of years people have been following and preaching its every fictional word.

Following the word of the Bible is no different than following the word of the Harry Potter series, as it is full of incredibly unrealistic magical works. But despite the many self-contradictions, hypocritical preachings and simply unreal magical occurrences, people are still willing to tell you that the Bible and God are real. Most of these people are willing to tell a perfectly respectable and logical person of any religion/race/ethnicity that they are automatically "going to hell."

They are also willing to BLINDLY believe anything that an official-looking person has to say.

Person 1: "DUDE! did you know there was a guy named Jonah who lived inside of a whale?! and that Moses parted the Red Sea with his magic powers?!"

Person 2: "Where did you hear that bullshit?"

Person 1: "It's not bullshit, I read it in the Bible so it must be true!"

by Justin Feld August 31, 2008

21๐Ÿ‘ 29๐Ÿ‘Ž


A bible

Clearly free and you definitely need one

Whatโ€™s A Bible ? Something you definitely need sis.

by Vinnyismymanโค๏ธ October 17, 2019

9๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


The bible

A fiction story that fools believe

The bible should be moved into fiction, all in favor?

by dr evil 2 March 25, 2007

43๐Ÿ‘ 69๐Ÿ‘Ž


Bible

An extremely over-rated fictional book used by fascists to oppress gay people.

"The bible clearly hates what you are and threatens you with death simply because you happen to be gay and not straight, son. So because the bible says I must hate what you are, then I'm going to do just that."

"The bible tells me to hate the sin and love the sinner. That means I hate that you're not straight like I am, but I still love you."

"Just change your sexuality and you won't be hated and oppressed. Just be straight for God. Reading the bible should help you make up your mind.", says the ignorant airhead who doesn't realize that any sexuality is fixed and set in stone.

"Unlike black people, you can hide your sexuality by keeping your mouth shut about it and not being in public with your boyfriend while kissing or holding hands. You're sexuality can stay in your bedroom. As long as you don't reveal your sexuality verbally or physically, you're safe. ", says the bible-thumping toxic masculine moron readily assuming his son and any other male to be gay.

by Aroraklypse October 2, 2020

6924๐Ÿ‘ 15446๐Ÿ‘Ž


[The Bible]

Ancient document written over a period of several thousand years mostly by Hebrew peoples. It chronicles the events and travels of the people sometimes with terribly violent results. It also exposes their human errors that most often come with disastrous consequences. There is a great deal of history, especially the book of Daniel which clearly predicts the great kingdoms that would rule over Europe until the fall of the Roman Empire. That book was written several hundred years before the kingdoms existed therefore giving a great deal of credibility to the author. It clearly predicts conditions of the world just before the reign of man is ended. The frequency and severity of storms, earthquakes, wars, and famine are signs that are now too apparent to ignore.
Yes we have always had those calamities but never in such frequency as now.

The Bible predicts that disasters will be far more frequent toward the end of the earths time.
Just noticing the news will demonstrate how hurricanes, earthquakes and such are occurring far more often than even just 30 years ago. The earth is literally being torn apart.

by minddbendder September 15, 2008

3๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž