tom cruise

A once good actor turned completely insane. He is now engaged to actress Katie Holmes (who looks like she's twelve but is still taller than him). Tom Cruise also VERY OPENLY practices scientology. Scientologists, I'm convinced, are trying to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE. I mean seriously, anything started and made popular in LA has to be frigged up. They have schools, and art classes, and buildings. ITS FRIGHTENING!!! How can you have a "religion" based off of a sci-fi novel anyway???? It makes no sense.

But really, he had a list of all the single actresses in Hollywood that he could go out with. Katie Holmes was at the end of the list. A girl has to have some pride.

"Oh my God. When she saw Brad Pitt, she went all Tom Cruise and started jumping up and down on my couch. GAWD. Now we need to get new upholstery."

"Poor Batman, he has to kiss Mrs. Tom Cruise."

"YOU SHOW EM, TOM. KICK SOME ALIEN ASS! Ooh wait...nevermind you got sucked up into the ship..."

384👍 117👎

Ted Cruise

A vacation you take while your constituents haven’t had power, water or heat, and are freezing to death.

Ted Cruz took a Ted Cruise

24👍 4👎

tom cruise

Exremely soluble professional couch-jumper and squinter. See asshole.

You're a jerk! Now why would you do that?

1005👍 328👎

tom cruise

An exceptionally shit actor (refer to his couch jumping antics on Oprah to prove that he loves Katie Holmes), and believes eating asparagus can keep influence from evil alien souls at bay (refer to scientology).

d00d wtf happened? u used to be ok, but now ur a fuggin' mess!!!

339👍 107👎

Tom Cruise

A really crappy actor who is trying to promote scientology *see also fraud* but doing a really bad job of it. He has also been flipping out at everyone who does not agree with him.

"And you know, you always have to look at someone who criticizes you, you have to look at them and say, okay, so? Who is that person? Why? What do they know?"
-Tom Cruise

He is obviously a hypocrite too.

guy 1 - who's that guy freaking out on the news?
guy 2 - o that's Tom Cruise. He's an insane psycho freak.

478👍 153👎

cruise ship

A two-way motorboat. When two girls laying in the 69 positing each motorboat the other.

Dude, that lesbian film is awesome - there's even a cruise ship scene!

91👍 24👎

burn cruise

Most often refers to the act of smoking marijuana while driving. Common location is generally an unpopulated area or backcountry road. In reality, a TRUE burn cruise consists of leaving and returning to the original location without stopping; the sole purpose of using the car is as a smoking venue. Length of drive may vary from a few minutes to a few hours depending on fuel efficiency and the ability to acquire a friends/parents gas card.

Person A: What are you doing tonight?
Person B: Hopefully smoking marijuana.
Person A: That sounds delightful. I will pick you up in 10 min and we'll burn cruise it.

40👍 9👎