Random
Source Code
Random
Ideal chosen excuse for having the morning off work, ideally to attend an interview for a rewarding job. Completely throws any bovate suspicion as hypochondria is accepted as the norm.
"I won't be in 'til 12 today as I have a physio appointment on my dodgy knee."
"Oh okay. I hope you feel better afterwards."
"Oh I will, you bove. I will. Lie-ins are truly therapeutic."
5👍 3👎
Literally (in schools, the military, etc): A pass that exempts the bearer from normal duty so they can go to hospital.
Figuratively (1): A Catch-22 situation which will inevitably lead to a person being badly hurt, humiliated or otherwise up shit creek.
Figuratively (2): In sports, a dangerous pass of the ball that may result in injury to the receiver.
Drill Instructor: Private, why are you out of the barracks?!
Private: Sir, I have a hospital pass... oohhh...
Drill Instructor: I see, that would explain all the blood spraying from your neck. NOW, STOP MOANING YOU PANSY! AND SAY SIR WHEN YOU DO!
Bill: I hear you just got assigned the Smith tax account.
Joe: Yeah, that thing is a nightmare. The IRS are investigating the company and I am probably going to be called before a grand jury.
Bill: Holy shit! That account is a hospital pass.
Doctor: So, how did you break your nose?
Private: I was playing football and the ball was passed to me.
Doctor: That doesn't sound dangerous.
Guy: Yeah, but the ball smacked directly into my face at 200 miles per hour.
Doctor: Sounds like a hospital pass. Ha ha ha ha!
Guy: Can I have another doctor?
15👍 17👎
A person who constantly seeks treatment at an emergency room for conditions that require a lot of testing, but there is never anything wrong.
Nurse: What did you place in bed 12? Other nurse: Just a hospital hound, they were here last week with the same complaint.
A curious building, full of weak and vulnerable creatures such as Ben Pease. Those who enter are often found in the garbage out the back. Treatment usually stretches across a couple of months when illegal working numbers are low. Poole Hospital isn't a place for the faint hearted, nor' the British.
I just got caught up in a brawl, in the Poole hospital reception. A one armed kid just knicked the last free magazine .
A vibrator specifically purchased for the use of guests. Mine, currently, is a plug-in wand type of model.
If he doesn't have a hospitality vibrator in his house, he can't fuck.
The urethra of a male patient used to smuggle drugs ( especially weed) into the hospital, when the prison wallet is unavailable due to potential suppositories.
Patient 1: How did you manage to get that joint into the hospital?
Patient 2: I stuffed it into my hospital sock.
A wonderful place where the employees there beat you to a pulp and give you money if you survive.
Guy: *walks into the anti-hospital*
The doctors and nurses: *beat him to a pulp*
Anti-doctor: okay here's $2,000