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The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.
Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!
DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa
The act of having a poo (Humpty) while also having a sexual intercourse (Fuckty).
Usually done in airport loos (notably Luton) where time is critical.
Have we got time for a quick humpty fuckty. before boarding? Really don't want to be late for Portugal but can kill 2 birds with 1 stone…
Noun. Refers to an amputee with serious anger problems, to the point where their presence causes everybody around them to not have a good time and lose their buzz.
Man with no legs sits in wheelchair, angry: I fucking hate this place. Fuck all of you motherfuckers.
Nearby bystander, listening to the amputee bitch and bitch and can't take it anymore: Shut the fuck up, Humpty-Stumpty. Maybe you just got off on the wrong, uh, "foot." Maybe you have a, ya know, "leg up" on the competition. You look like you're a bit, uh, "stumped." Wow, I really put my, uh, foot in my mouth there. Sometimes you just have to take things one, um, ya know, "step" at a time. Stop being such a fucking buzzkill before I tip over your wheelchair and light your bitch ass on fire. Okay, Humpty Stumpty?
Someone named Kade who has a voluptuous lower end.
Kade- Hey dude.
Nick- Wow you have a big bottom, may I call you Kade Humpty-Dump Truck
My humpty ass forgot to save my paper and I lost it when my computer crashed.
The fuel of nightmares, typically an egg or a previous English king.