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life insurance

The investment you make betting that your worth more dead than alive. Upon death your investment usually results in your family getting rich.

John was a loser not worth a crap to his family, then he died and the life insurance made then filthy stinking rich.

by Dr. Uncle Fucker Crapper John M.D. July 23, 2003

26๐Ÿ‘ 32๐Ÿ‘Ž


Insurance agent

One of the shittiest people there are. Usually have a shitty name like Jeff and pretend to give you a "deal" in order to sign you up but one you get into an accident you'll soon realize you don't know even have insurance. Usually bundles all kinds of insurance together too so he makes the most money and you don't even know about it.

I'm so excited I just got new insurance at a low rate from my insurance agent!

Did someone named jeff sign you up?

Yeah he did!

LOL, you played yourself.

by Extremeist June 13, 2017

6๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


Food insurance

Food insurance is a second meal ordered at the same time as your original meal. It is used as insurance in case you are still hungry. Not to be confused with a side order.

Chris got the Mac and cheese platter as food insurance. He is never sure if the spaghetti pizza will be enough.

by abeanpie December 22, 2017


memory insurance

A method of writing something down before you forget, whether on a piece of paper or on your arm or hand. May also include calling your own phone and leaving yourself a voice message, or emailing yourself. Basically a self-reminder.

Roommate 1: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Friday? My flight leaves at 6.
Roommate 2: Yeah hold on a sec, I'm gonna write that on a sticky note, just for memory insurance.

by ambermonk April 22, 2011


ticket insurance

The one car going faster than you when you're speeding on the freeway. The general idea is that you can go as fast as you want as long as the other guy is going faster, that way if a cop sees you both speeding he will pull over the other guy and not you.

Wow, I'm going 80 in the fast lane and this jackass just zoomed past me. Ticket insurance!

by The 5th Floor December 16, 2012


insurance engagement

General Definition: Engagement into a relationship or to wed with any combinations of the characteristics listed below:

1. One or both of the couple are already in a relationship, however on the chance that the two become single at the same time, the two will proceed with the agreement.

2. The two memebers are decently compatible (good friends), but they are not strictly attracted to the other.

3. One or both of the couple share the fear of not finding someone to enter into a normal engagement, perhaps later on in their life.

4. For some reason, one or both of the couple chooses not to engage into a relationship or to wed at this time, perhaps due to school, job, recent break-up, etc.

5. One or both of the couple want the psychological comfort that no matter what, the other will be there at the end if both are single at the end.

Insurance engagements generally are lighthearted verbal agreements that can mean a huge deal or nothing at all. If this agreement has a delay (as agreed upon by both), it's generally very long, such as a couple months to a couple years. These agreements are either rarely honored or their delays rarely expire for it to actually be honored (one or both of the couple may've already gotten married to other people).

Specific Definition: Engagement to wed done at a young age (college, high school or younger) agreed by two friends that has a delay of at least a couple years (when both are at least 27 years old).

-Did you hear? James and Sarah got engaged last week!

-What? They werent dating each other and Sarah doesnt really like James like that.

-Oh, it's kinda just a joke, they're going to get married when they're both 26 if they're both single at the time.

-Ah, okay, an insurance engagement.

by trollsofalabama February 11, 2011


comeback insurance

The act of leaving something at someone's else residence in order to have an excuse to come back over.

She left her toothbrush at my house last night as comeback insurance.

by Calypso27 November 8, 2017