Sleight of scan

The method by which one steals items from a store by means of the self-checkout register.
Common practice includes scanning an inexpensive item while bagging a near-identical but more costly one, only partially weighing items, or otherwise misrepresenting the count.

Guy1: "Why pay 99¢ for those gourmet, grocery store bagels when a little sleight of scan can get them for the 59¢ doughnut price?"

Guy2: "Dude, seriously? It's forty cents..."

Blinker scan

The act of trying to find two or more cars with the same blinker speeds at a stop light.

That Ford and that Chevy over there have their blinkers going at the same speed. I caught it on my blinker scan!

SCAN YOUR BAR CODE

KNOCK YOU OUT, SPLIT YOUR WIG, STRONG TO THE DOME, SCAN YOUR BARCODE

IF YOU DON'T QUIT TALKING SMACK I AM GOING TO HAVE TO SCAN YOUR BAR CODE

scanning ham

Beating yo meat stick with hella force

I was scanning ham because I saw a hood looking Fortnite skin…

Phantom Scanning

The act of appearing to scan the NHS track and trace app, but not actually scanning it

So I popped into Pizza Express for a quick bite, and the waitress was like ‘you’ve got to scan the NHS app before sitting down’. So I take out my phone and appear to scan it, but in fact I’m phantom scanning it. No lock down for me, ha ha ha ha

Scan my papers

Fuck the living shit outta someone till they pass out

Moose: Ezra can I come to your house to scan my papers?

DOG scan

Opposite of a CAT scan which checks out your "internal workins" for injuries/defects, this electromagnetic-field survey checks for anomalies OUTSIDE of the body, such as the presence of demons or other unwanted less-than-genial spiritual "hitchhikers". Not endorsed by the AMA or any other "official" medical organization --- but then what do those highfalutin narrow-minded "blindly-going-by-the-book" lame-brains know, anyway??? --- but is touted as surprisingly effective by many people, especially ones who are into wiccan/meditative healing.

I felt really wound up from having nightmares and other moderate mental disturbances, so I made an appointment for a DOG scan. Da quiet-mannered hippie-fella who administered the test was really kind and sympathetic during the procedure, and then afterwards he performed a free banishing-seance on me; I do indeed feel noticeably calmer and sleep more peacefully since then. Da long-haired dude also loaned me a couple books on alternative healing and thinking, which I am currently perusing in my spare time.