let me tell you something

When you feel the need to make someone feel dumb by demonstrating your knowledge over a wide variety of subjects, this phrase is useful.

Me: That's not true
Moron: Yes it is.
Me: Let me tell you something... (infinite pause)
Moron: ... ?

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let me tell you something

A typical black elder's preamble serving as a gesture of dominance and/or wisdom...

Young Tyrone: I ain't tall enough to be good at basketball.....
Black Elder: Let me tell you something...

let me tell ya

sarcasm in four words

"she is so pretty"
"let me tell ya"

"you like the nerd in math class?"
"let me tell ya"

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let me tell you about homestuck

"Let me tell you about homestuck" is a joke about homestuck fans trying to tell normal people about homestuck.

Me :' Hey, let me tell you about homestuck'
Friend: 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO'

Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything.

A ptsd trigger for those who are very cultured.

"Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything..." Jane said
"Never say that again!" James shouted with fear in his eyes.

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tell me about it sherlock

The kid friendly way of saying No (censored) Sherlock

Kaite: Its BURNING
Billy : Tell me about it sherlock
Kaite: what

telling me about court

Tge act of sucking another man's dick while you're friend is waiting for you

And now I'm on my way right now sorry my buddy was telling me about court