Wet-wipe

The worst insult on the planet, even more harmful than the classic ‘ur mom gay’. Not even a ‘no u’ can deflect this insult. Instant death guaranteed.

Person: haha your ginger
Me: shush you wet-wipe
Person: (keels over and dies)

77👍 14👎

Bonus Wipe

After deficating, one wipes his/her anus and notices that the toilet paper is completely clean. No need to wipe any further, that pooper is clean.

You know I really hate it when I have a case of the squirts because the toilet paper runs out quick. But when I do get them I know a bonus wipe is just around the corner. I just say to myself, "What goes around comes around my friend, you'll be repaid in time..."

25👍 3👎

urban wiping

Asserting that due to having run out of regular toilet paper, one has been reduced to ripping (the virtual) pages out of the Urban Dictionary to wipe one's behind with after defecating.

(An absurdist but wry way of deflecting an insult about one's hygiene, neither admitting the charge nor getting into an unnecessary fight.)

Outta cash, bro. Been urban wiping.

14👍 1👎

shower-wipe

A shower-wipe is when you are taking a shit and realize it's one of those that will use up a whole roll of toliet paper (usually after a heavy shit) so you just jump in the shower spread your cheeks and clean all the ass waste.

Dude I just took the biggest shit and had no tp left so I just shower-wiped.

69👍 13👎

Ghost wipes

The rare phenomenon that when one wipes their butt after pooping, delightfully finds that there is no trace/streak of poop on the toilet paper resulting in a care free poop session and heightened feeling of self cleanliness.

"Yo dude I gotta blast a serious dookie right now, and unless i get ghost wipes, im guna need another roll of the poopoo paper."

48👍 7👎

Cock wipe

Cock wipe…Tool used for mopping up semen, which would have otherwise been spilled upon your formerly pristine Dungeons and Dragons sheets, to prevent ur mom from putting her hand into ur icky sticky penis goo while doing the laundry.

1)Kenzie: "God ur such a cock wipe!"
Tristin: "Hey! Did u just call me a SOCK?"

2)Mom: "Honey what is all over this sock? It is all stuck together."
George: "Nothing mom....its ummm drool?"
Frank: "Dude ur mom just found ur cock wipe."

51👍 9👎

Curb Wipe

When you tred in dog shit and you wipe your shoe off on a curb so all the dog shit comes off your shoe.

"Dude i totally just trod in dog shit"
"Just curb wipe".