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A joyous occasion when six or more crumpets are prepared per person. Preferably buttered, hot and crispy (maybe with a little grilled sugar). This is usually the result of somebody suggesting Crumpet Mayhem (usually due to an over-abundance of crumpets due to them being on special offer). The crumpets are consumed by all and enjoyed, as crumpets are loved by all.
"I'm hungry, anybody got any ideas for a good munchies?"...
..."What about Crumpet Mayhem! We got loads of crumpets and butter because they were half price, we could even sprinkle sugar on top?"...
..."Sounds great, let's get the grill on!"
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Wiping your arse on the bath mat.
We ran outta bog roll so I had to make a satay crumpet
When someones teeth has unusual staining on them. Staining similar to the color of a crumpet or english muffin such as: off white, yellow, orange, brown or even hints of black.
He was totally cute until he smiled, it was a serious crumpet teeth situation. Brown with hints of yellow, it reminded me of a toasted english muffin. Gross!
Descriptive term for female genitalia that displays the signs of a severe herpes outbreak.
that chick was smokin hot, luckily i got a glimpse of her rusty crumpet and bolted
When playing Halo, or other online games, is to get a double kill, then proclaim "Double Crumpets!" to further the embarresment of the people you just killed
(Just Killing two people at once playing Halo 2)
Game: Double Kill!
Nick (In the mike): Double Crumpets!
A dusty little fucker who has problems like a box of old ass crumpets