difficult customer

A polite way of calling a customer a “Cunt”

“This is a bit of a difficult customer”
Really means
“This is a MASSIVE cunt”

Full Custom

Rhythm game term that describe a chart that has original music specially made for it. Popular examples include ExileLord's Soulless series (Guitar Hero/Clone Hero), Renard's Dash Hopes series (Mungyodance) and DDR ALL STARS' Dance Dance Revolution (Dance Dance Revolution), along with many others.

"Yo, ever heard of ExileLord's full customs?"

Customer Logic

Throwing all reasoning out the window and being the stupidest fucking moron you can humanly be.

It operates under three basic principles:

1. Complete lack of accountability (even actively refusing to take any)
2. Complete lack of empathy (i.e. sociopathic behavior)
3. Unwarranted self importance (i.e. severe narcissism)

Formal logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: if you park on No Parkin areas, you get a parking ticket.

Customer logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: OMG IT WAS JUST A FUCKING MINUTE I WILL GO TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS TO DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER AND ASK FOR FREE LATTES FOR LIFE BECAUSE THEY SHOULD'VE TOTALLY WARNED ME ABOUT IT AND WILL SUE EVERYONE BECAUSE MY PARKING TICKET IS EVERYBODY ELSE'S FAULT.

reverse customer

A customer that you pay, in order to try to make your company seem more popular and to seem to have more customers.

Yay, we just landed our 100th customer, unfortunately the first 99 were reverse customers...

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Customer Splaining

When a customer is trying to explain the job better than the person providing the service.

Customer Splaining: The customer, customer splained how to do my own job.

For example, a customer telling you how to make a latte, when you’ve been a barista for 5 years.

customer-patient

In the U.S.A., a person seeking non-emergency medical service must first provide proof of insurance and pay money before being examined by medical personnel.

Customer-patient: Help, I've chainsawed my fingers off!

Register Operator/Triage Representative: That'll be 50 bucks.

paying customer

A term used by entitled people as a justification of their shitty behaviour in a commercial premises they patronise.

Karen: You better show some respect towards paying customers!
Manager: (shows security footage of Karen acting like a Karen)
Karen: Oh shit my cover is blown.

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