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proud father

(Noun): A father who cannot accept the fact his kid sucks at sports and will complain about playing time to coaches, managers, law enforcement, congress, the president, etc.. If the father still acts this way when his child is in college then he becomes a proud grandfather.

Why they hell did Jimbo write the letter to the school board about his son warming the bench the entire game, doesn't the proud father know the last time coach played Jimbo Jr., he score a basket for the other team.

by MJVFB January 23, 2014


You are not the father

The words that every man loves to hear!

Maury: I hold in my hand the results to the paternity test and...

Cole: *sweating*

Maury: Cole You are not the father!

Cole: I told you bitch I wasn't!

by Ari Shaffir September 25, 2011

96πŸ‘ 5πŸ‘Ž


crow father

Crow father is simply poggers, he is the best and will save the people in danger

Person one- oh no I am dying please someone save me

Person two- look! It’s crow father
Crow father- (screeching noises)

by Iamsimplypoggers April 26, 2021


Facebook Father

A divorced Father who wants no direct involvement with his child and whines about having to provide financial support, yet plasters his Facebook page with pictures of his son to give the impression of being a loving Father.

Dick is such a Facebook Father, he spends all his child support on gambling and alcohol and never speaks to his son, yet he gets a tattoo of the boy and posts pics on FB.

by Crazy86 September 1, 2012

196πŸ‘ 17πŸ‘Ž


You are NOT the father

If you are on the Maury show, and as your head is producing a shower of sweat, to hear those words is like dodging a bullet Maxtrix style. You gloat and probably dance around while that hoe breaks down in tears and runs off to the backstage area to cry harder and sometimes louder.

"In the case of 7th month old child Shauna, Jason, you are NOT the father."

*She breaks down in tears and runs off backstage while Jason does a Michael Jackson impersonation and yells, "THE KID IS NOT MY SON!!!"*

by Royal_Defense710 October 19, 2014

33πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


illegitimate father

1. A father who does not acknowledge his children.

2. A father who acknowledges a child or children privately and not publicly.

3. A father who acknowledges paternity but does not take responsibility equal to the mother for meeting the child's needs.

Thomas Jefferson was an illegitimate father of a number of children.

by Denverite3 December 11, 2014


father ted

a great series

every episode ever made

by dave August 15, 2003

113πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž