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a nasty, slutty, female residing in Middleburg, Florida that engages in many sexual acts with many males.
The sluttiest girl in Middleburg, Florida is considered the Middleburg Mattress.
10👍 3👎
A Lady, Woman or Girl that thinks it's a turn on to fuck all of the british army whilst on a night out. The Squaddy Mattress earn their keep by getting free drinks from the from the unsuspecting soldier in return for back ally action.
"Lets get out of here this place is full of Squaddy Mattress's"
10👍 3👎
Keeping your money under your mattress because it is the cost-effective and economy-proof solution.
'Hey man, want to go to the store?'
'Yeah sure, I've just got to make a quick withdrawal from the bank of mattress.'
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After attempting to start some sexy times with your wife or girlfriend by rubbing your hard-on on her leg or against her back you get rejected or ignored, the respectable thing to do is hide your boner in the mattress by laying on your stomach.
Also referred to as Mattress Peen
I tried to sex up my lady last night but ended up with mattress Penis
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a white girl who only sleeps with black guys.
Nicole is a black mattress
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Performing elaborate sex acts in bed, usually involving some degree of flexibility.
Question: "How did Kevin pull his hammy?" Response: "He and Marien engaged in a round of mattress gymnastics last night."
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The period of time between hearing your mattress frame crack and landing on the carpet afterwards. Caused mostly by obesity. A growing problem in the United States.
*Crack*
Person 1: Dude, we're entering mattress freefall.
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