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Isn't real. DEAL with it.
santa is a fat man in a red suit
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An unhealthily overweight man clad in red and fuzzy white garments who forces millions of Cambodian children to make toys. However, Santa is a racist and skips over Cambodia on his Christmas run. He uses 'elves' as a cover-up for his sweatshops.
Santa loves to put young children at work.
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Oh my god!!!!! Has anyone noticed that Santa and Satan could be the SAME PERSON?! Seriously, look at the spellings.
Santa
Satan
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Fat white guy who breaks into your house while everyone is asleep to eat your cookies and drink your milk.
Bob: "God dammit, I'm out of cookies and milk again!"
Santa: "Hohoho, merry christmas!"
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Some fat, drunk, white guy who sneaks into your house at night by riding a sleigh pulled by magic flying reindeer.
He lives in the North Pole, and gets a group of slaves, or "elves", to make all his toys for him. Kindof like a plantation.
Santa only works one day of the year, and in many kids shows, he suddenly comes down with a cold (OH MY GOD NOT A FUCKING COLD) on the one day he has to work, so he gets to stay home all day and gets pampered by Mrs.Claus, his wife, while the main character of the show is out delivering presents to all the kids in the world.
Also known as: Father Christmas, Kriss Kringle, Saint Nick.
"Santa" re-arranged is "Satan"
He see's you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good.
And you're somewhere on his creepy list.
If you're on the naughty list, he will sneak into your house and give you a lump of coal in your stocking. And if you're really lucky, he might give you a swift spanking because you've been such a naughty boy or girl.
If you're on the nice list, he'll give a shitload of expensive things for your spoiled bitchass, and possibly a swift spanking in the bedroom, just because he wants to.
"Santa snuck into my house, so I shot him. Sorry officer."
Santa owns a plantation and a group of elves in the North Pole.
"I have to go deliver toys and miss dinner because Santa is a lazy fuck"
Johnny was a good boy this year in hopes he'll get spanked by santa.
Suzie was a bad girl this year in hopes she'd get spanked by santa.
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Another definition for the main guy in a pornographic movie.
Elves would be the girls or women.
After seeing both the redheaded hitcher and the blond cheerleader participating in a threesome on a horse, it was clear Ralph was this movie's santa. He was certainly jolly enough for it.
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