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First, get yourself some really dry skin on your head… like, really dandruff the fuck out of it. Don’t wash, or wash too much: whatever does it for you.
Next: find a female (sorry, this requires a female).
Next step: go down on her.
What you do down there really doesn’t matter. Go ahead and suck, lick, tease; bite if that’s her thing. What’s important is to ensure as much of that old, dead, flaky head skin ALL OVER her mound, thus transforming it into a snow-topped mountain.
Me: Karen, get this…
I didn’t drink for days and I didn’t wash my shampoo out for fucking weeks. I went down on this dirty bint the other day with my psoriasis scalp and fuck me, when I was done, she had the biggest snow-topped mountain I’ve ever made.
Karen: Nice. Nice.
The act of vigorously mountaining a large feral feline, preferably a mature succulent cougar, yielding a classic result within 1 standard deviation.
Big Willy had his prepubescent mind blown when he first experienced the Cougar Mountain Classic. His life... and genitals, will never be the same.
The area between one's booty or ass. The area where your anus lies.
Jake and Jessica were very horny after watching 'Sausage Party', and both looked at each other with a look of bestial lust. They began to make out slowly, and it got to the point where they both began to get wet. His penis covered in pre-cum, and her panties soaked all the way through. Jake pulled his cock out of his boxers, and pushed Jessica's face into the couch cushions, and pulled her pants down. He could clearly see her asshole, right smack-dab in the middle of the Valley Between the Mountains. He inserted his thick, throbbing dick into her tiny ass, covering the valley.
Taking your partner/ lover into the bedroom or jeep or destination of choice, making a quick or long romp session, finishing without much clean up that is quickly followed up with a trip to China grove for cashew chicken.
“Hey Carol, you see those two over there sitting by the windah?”
“Sure do Ken”
“They look tore up! Why their hair all messy and they look a bit sweaty and have a smell of something I ain’t bout to say”
“Welp Ken… looks like a typical Mountain Grove salad”
“All be, glad to see these youngins keeping it alive. Go panthers”
Often used as a compliment for smoking hot men who are into hiking and the outdoors. They often have a beard and/or are growing one. They may have a dad bod or be super buff. These men are the best and if you can find yourself a smokey mountain man you are golden for the rest of your life.
My boyfriend is a smokey mountain man. He has no idea what it means.
To do the Mountain Bandit Broil you must bring your woman to the top of Mount Everest. Strip her nude and place her in a large cauldron filled with beef broth and oysters. You then insert a wooden spoon into her vag to clean out the inside to fill it with your broth. You then drink the broth that spills out of her vag, spit it in her face, and then grab all her clothes and belongings she had and flee the mountain with them like the bandit you are leaving her stranded, nude, and with a pussy full of broth and oysters.
"damn dude why is Michael so rich?"
"Michael is the best at pawning items from The Mountain Bandit Broil."
A person named Allen who ducks copious amounts of seman and uses mountain dew as a dick chaser.
Hey quit being a "mountain dew fag" allen.