Random
Source Code

Ugly Christmas Sweater

A hideous article of clothing, received from relatives who don't like you. It's origins are ancient and were initiated to punish kids who wouldn't eat their spinach. The relative always had a horrifying affliction Ie: (mustached aunt) .

In recent years, the grown victims, have turned the tables, with the ugly sweater contest. the once feared object that was used to force you into submission, is now coveted party gear, that wins $ and prizes.

The word "sweater" is used loosely, as vests, turtlenecks, and various accessories are equally acceptable.

Warnings: 1. Safety first! When dressing for an ugly sweater contest, please remember to cover the thing from view, while in public. A truly hideous sweater, gets noticed, and could cause an accident. 2. Beware of bait and switch tactics. Bosses will sometimes lure innocent employees into attending dreadful office parties, by using using a sweater contest as bait. When the victim arrives, they find the so called "contest" is a ruse, and the "fabulous prizes" consist of A: unpaid overtime, labeled as "lunch with the boss" B: a desk calendar, with the dates filled in, C: a grotesque statue, made from two paperclips, an orange rubber band, and something that looks suspiciously like belly button lint. D: a stale fruitcake.

To avoid this, demand a flyer beforehand. The prizes should be listed, and the flyer MUST contain the managers signature at the bottom, or they will try to weasel out of it.

Kid:
"Oh crap! Here comes Aunt Mildred! Please help me! She has an Ugly Christmas Sweater for me, I just know it! I promise I'll be good...don't make me wear it..."

Parent:
"Watch your mouth! I'm sure it is a perfectly lovely sweater, and you will put it on immediately, so we can take our annual family photo for the newsletter. Now answer the door, and give Aunt Mildred a big hug and kiss".

by Vixen333 December 9, 2011

38๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


ugly as homemade sin

A very southern phrase refering to the act of incest.

"that's as ugly as homemade sin!"

by C. Hardy October 13, 2006

81๐Ÿ‘ 28๐Ÿ‘Ž


ugly duckling syndrome

When a person who used to be somewhat awkward and not attractive, though not necessarily unattractive, becomes extremely beautiful. Because this person used to be unattractive, bitter and jealous people assume they are emotionally damaged and scarred. Hence, they believe the aforementioned beauty is mentally demented, while they themselves are sympathetically retarded.

Ugly Duckling Syndrome is an excuse to undermine the physical and inner attractiveness of a blossomed beauty.

"Wow! That girl used to be really awkward! What happened! I'm sure she MUST have done some kind of plastic surgery to get that face. I guess she's really insecure then, and she probably has ugly duckling syndrome."

"No you dipshit, she just went through puberty."

by Mr. Lipshitz June 15, 2009

449๐Ÿ‘ 186๐Ÿ‘Ž


BUTT ASS UGLY

A person that is beyond ugly.

That chick is butt ass ugly

by Iban October 26, 2006

81๐Ÿ‘ 28๐Ÿ‘Ž


go ugly early

The act of admitting to oneself that you will not pull a good looking bird not matter how long you hang around the night club. You always end up taking the ugliest bird anyway, so why not just go ugly early and get it over with.

It was only half past ten when Steven left the club with a salad dodger on his arm. His friend Jim passed him in the carpark and remarked "Eh up Steve, going ugly early?". Steven sighed, glanced at the fugly minger, and replied "Fraid so Jim, got work in the morning, so I don't have all night"

by Norbert Colon October 29, 2004

178๐Ÿ‘ 71๐Ÿ‘Ž


fat ugly bastard

A man in a pornographic film that is so grotesquely overweight and ugly, sometimes significantly older than everyone else in the shoot, that it takes you out of the mood. It's enough to get you angry and question why they would cast him.

It gets more annoying when the other actors and actresses are looking their best with shredded abs or a waistline that's too small for a normal human, then you get a man that does not seem to be interested in the craft at all.

Guy1: I was watching a porn video yesterday and I was really getting into it.

Guy2: I don't know why you're telling me this, but I'll bite. What happened?

Guy1: A fucking fat ugly bastard showed up.

Guy2: OH NO! FUCK THAT GUY!

by theonewhoflops May 24, 2021

21๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


ugly ass hoe

a girl that's a hoe and hella ugly

damn, jordan such an ugly ass hoe. she hoe around but she's ugly so it don't matter.

by omdefine January 2, 2017

32๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž