The Awkward Turtle

A sex position. A guy gets a girl naked, gets himself naked except for his pants, and lays on top of her. He then proceeds to awkwardly dry hump her while wriggling his arms and legs and making awkward noises, including the phrase, "Awkward turtle!!"

Man, Kevin totally Awkward Turtled Amanda last night. She was so mad.

Timmy never had sex before, and he really liked Stacy. They were making out and were about to have sex, but Timmy got really nervous. Instead, he just did The Awkward Turtle until she got dressed and went home.

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Diaper Turtle

A large chunk of fecal matter inside a diaper.

I had my child's first diaper turtle bronzed.

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Turtle Fish

the master of dougie-ing. can kiss you through a video camera. the cooliest person EVER.

i love turtle fish

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Grinding the Turtle

When you catch a kid trying to steal your basketball when you're working in your garage its what you tell them you were doing when you confront them about said alleged theft.

I was busy "grinding the turtle" when you came into my cul-de-sac and tried to steal that basketball!

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Awkward Turtle

Informal sign language gesture meant to convey awkwardness of the person making the sign, usually in a group conversation that takes place face-to-face.

Can be used to show awkwardness regarding many things, like abrupt changes in conversation topic, sudden hit on the opposite sex, anything in the TMI realm, etc.

The sign is made by placing the left hand out flat, in front of you, palm down, thumb sticking out to the right. The right hand is then put directly on top of the left hand, palm down, with the thumb pointing to the left. Both thumbs are then moved back and forth to mimic the fins of a swimming sea turtle.

Make the sign a few inches in front of your stomach, not to far away from your body.

Alan: "So, THEN what happened?"
Jill: "Our guide quickly fixed my harness, and we zipped to the next tree in the rain forest."
Rob:" That is totally cool! How far up were you?"
Jill: "At least 200 feet. Sometimes more. The whole thing was over a mile long. Took us hours."
Alan: "Tell me you weren't scared, and I'll call you a liar."
Jill: "Well I..."
Edward: "Your Facebook photo is pretty."
Rob: <awkward turtle>

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Turtle Time

1) to engage in a fun activity
2) A statement used to break the silence

IT's turtle Time!

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mud turtle

An uncurcumzied penis

Bob has a mud turtle.

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