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A disease that affects a person's ability to reason. People with this condition suffer from irrational delusions that a candidate in an upcoming election will "change everything", "keep their promises" and/or "get things done". Other symptoms include, but are not limited to: believing politics is interesting, putting an election bumper sticker on your otherwise valuable automobile, passing out leaflets and yard signs, and actually reading propaganda mail. Outbreaks generally occur in a 4 year pattern coinciding with presidential elections, although extreme cases will lead the victim to feel this way toward all elections down to county level, especially in die-hard partisans. It will affect Democrats and Republicans differently depending on the candidates and election conditions. Positive Election Disease (PED) gained unprecedented media coverage during Barack Obama's 2008 Presidential campaign, marking the worst recorded epidemic of PED in America.
Facts about PED:
PED feeds on bipartisanship.
Lobbyists are naturally resistant to PED.
PED may affect up to 95 percent of partisans during election time, but affects less than a third of all Independents.
Douchebags are 10 times more likely to get PED.
Network news makes it worse.
PED can cause rioting, especially in developing African countries.
PED does affect politicians, but such cases are quickly cured by lobbyists.
During off-years PED survives in San Fransisco.
douchebag: "Barack Obama will bring change to America! He's going to fix the economy and fix healthcare the right way and he's going to get Democrats and Republicans to work together."
registered independent: "Man, you got Positive Election Disease really bad."
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when a girl is younger she is beautiful and therefore pampered, but once she is older and ugly she no longer gets that attention and therefore lives a very boring life, usually short and depressing
Brad: Wow, she used to be so pretty and successful, until she got fugly
Jim: Yeah, she's got a major case of beautiful girl disease
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To be defeated or beaten on many levels in many facets of life including but not limited to sports, school, and fisticuffs.
The inability to succeed at anything despite enormous effort.
Jane: Last week Bobby spent 24/7 studying for his Biology final and he still failed.
Alex: I know. Even the kid with a 65 IQ topped his score. He has a major case of Foot-In-Ass Disease.
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A mental illness in which the afflicted is compelled to respond to others' sentences by rearranging them in something similar to the following format:
"I wish I was/had/etc. 'x,' then I'd get ALL the ladies!"
This disease is often accompanied by the "That's what she said" Virus.
NOTE: Does not have to make sense; in fact, it usually doesn't.
Sam has "I Wish" Disease. He really starts to piss people off with it.
Josh: "Dude...my mom had a heart attack."
Sam: "I wish I had a heart attack! Then I'd get ALL the ladies!"
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A terrible disease inherited genetically from white parents.
it can generally be diagnosed from a lack of melanin pigmentation, thus rendering your skin pink, or any color the weather endows upon you for the day.
Although ALL babies are born with blue eyes, this disease delays permanently the offset of eye development and coating. and thier eyes in some event remains blue through adolescence and continues with them till death.
possible skin colors include, but are not limited to green, blue,red, pink, purple, brown, tan, zebra, spotty, pimply, and several patterns.
usually, a person suffering from this disorder finds it hard to run, jump, participate in sports, sing, dance, make love properly, or maintain an erection.
the person also is usually in denial, and every summer, they make a mass migration to the most tropical regions to tan themselves till they get cancer so they can look more like the rest of human kind.
advantages
1. you can tell how the feel just by looking at them
a.blue - the patient is cold
b.green- the patient is possibly sick
c.brown-the patient has spent too long in the cold
d.red- the patient has been in the sun
e.purple- the patient might be suffocating
f.pink- the patient is ashamed.
g.ugly spotted mixture of pink red and white - thats the patient in normal color.
disadvantages
1.disproportionate tendency to molest kids
2.likely to be a social or sport failure
that boy changes color with the weather like a glow in the dark toy, hes got white skin disease
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Facetious extension of DVD (actually Digital Versatile Disk).
Nothing interesting on the telly tonight, Benny. Stick on a Dreadful Venereal Disease and let's watch it.
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A rare degenerative disease that is triggered by being signed by the Cincinnati Bengals. Often called CHD, Chris Henry Disease causes the afflicted individual to, after getting into a domestic dispute, jump into the back of a pickup truck that is being driven by the individual's fiancee. After a few moments, the afflicted party proceeds to be ejected from the truck and receive serious head injuries, causing the subsequent hospitalization and death of the subject in question. Since 2009, CHD has claimed the life of at least 1 Bengals wide receiver every year. Named after recently diagnosed Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry.
Jon: Wow, I just got offered a 6 year contract to be a Bengals wide receiver!
Jake: I dunno man, I heard Bengals wide receivers are prone to developing Chris Henry Disease.
Jon: O really? I had no idea. I guess I'll just play for the St. Louis Rams for awhile...
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