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First, get yourself some really dry skin on your head… like, really dandruff the fuck out of it. Don’t wash, or wash too much: whatever does it for you.
Next: find a female (sorry, this requires a female).
Next step: go down on her.
What you do down there really doesn’t matter. Go ahead and suck, lick, tease; bite if that’s her thing. What’s important is to ensure as much of that old, dead, flaky head skin ALL OVER her mound, thus transforming it into a snow-topped mountain.
Me: Karen, get this…
I didn’t drink for days and I didn’t wash my shampoo out for fucking weeks. I went down on this dirty bint the other day with my psoriasis scalp and fuck me, when I was done, she had the biggest snow-topped mountain I’ve ever made.
Karen: Nice. Nice.
The act of vigorously mountaining a large feral feline, preferably a mature succulent cougar, yielding a classic result within 1 standard deviation.
Big Willy had his prepubescent mind blown when he first experienced the Cougar Mountain Classic. His life... and genitals, will never be the same.
A mountain of a man, that leaves huge loads when he drops them, balls so big he is bowlegged, dick so big, its beat the side out of his ACL, (notice the knee brace)...rain, snow, sleet, hail, this man will drop his mountain of a load anywhere he wants, on man woman or child( thirsty Thursdays anything goes!!!)
Yo shane? U see that bitch with the mushroom print on her forehead?, the mountain load giver,must have dropped that package already!!!
When she give you a blowjob and pulls your balls up. As you cum your mountain top gets cum on it and drips over like an avalanche.
I was with this chick last night and as she was blowing me she gave me a mountain top ted and then she used her finger like a skier going down the mountain!
Fictional penguins that live in Colorado that some boomers obsess over in my neck of the woods.
Did you the Rocky Mountain penguins on your walk?
A cave mountain goat, also known locally as “McDougal’s Pygmy Cave Goat” is found primarily in dry caves in Northeast Missouri. Ranging in size from 0.6-0.7, they are known for their carnivorous diet, shy but intelligent nature, and outstanding night vision. Very rare, they were placed on the federally listed endangered species list in 2015, with an estimate of only 2,300 remaining.
Watch out for the viscous cave mountain goat behind you!
Someone who refuses to drink anything but Coors Light.
Make sure you get Coors light for Jeff, he's a blue mountain bigot.
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