University of Teeside

Where chimps are educated that kittens come from eggs. And you need one GCSE in anything to attend.

Any of the local people in Teeside who say they want to 'better themselves' by attending University of Teeside

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Across the Universing

verb.

to ruin a perfectly good beatles' song by adding the unnecessary details from the film "Across the Universe" songs

Me: "Hey Jude..."

Punk: "Judeyyy Judeyy JUUDEYY!"

Me: "Stop Across the Universing a good SONG! jerk."

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Cambridge University

A sound uni where we don't tolerate state school scum

The guy who wrote the above definition is a cunt who did not go to Cambridge University

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University of Toledo

Toledo's apparent premier campus offering education in all subject matters especially Engineering, Business, and Law. Meant to drive every commuting student enrolled crazy by failing to provide sufficient parking. Also, foreign students and minorities make up the majority of this ghetto slum.

Person A: "Where you going to college bro?"

Person B: "not Toledo"

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Towson University

This “center of education” houses some of the hardest partiers on the East Coast…and not in the good way. The birthplace of the term “bros & hos,” Towson is populated by Jersey trash and all the UMD rejects. If they aren’t destroying the few brain cells they have left by getting blackout drunk every night of the week, they’re down in the Baltimore club scene getting date-raped by guidos on E…..who ALSO go to Towson. The wardrobe of a Towson Girl consists of leggings (which must constantly be worn as pants), Ugg boots for the winter and flip flops for the summer (although sometimes, these girls get confused and wear those stylin’ Uggs during a 90 degree heat wave and those flip flops, that double as their shower-attire, when it torrentially rains). And don’t forget their Winter North Face coats (fake fur included) and their (way too revealing) American Apparel t-shirts for those sticky Towson summers. The Number One rule for these gals at TU is to have at least 10 pounds of makeup on at ALL times, no matter what you’re wearing, where you’re going or who you’re seeing, and your hair, no matter what texture, must be straightened at least three times a day. “Did you take your trash out yet?” “No, I’ve been straightening…duh.” And for the boys…if you aren’t sporting a skewed baseball hat and some serious bling, then you’re probably wearing athletic shorts and your frat’s t-shirt at all times. TKE! Not…For those students who only destroy their brains with alcohol on the WEEKENDS…poppin’ adderall gets them through exams, homework and even class. Weed medicates their social anxiety and helps them get to sleep. Who needs that bullshit Counseling Center? And let’s not forget about Towson Sports….these kids care more about the next football game than they do about global warming…or even their own grades. And as much bragging as these frat-jocks spew out of their herpes-covered mouths, the only teams with good reputations are the Men’s Gymnastics team and the Women’s Lacrosse team. Nice goin’ guys.

Oh......you go to Towson University....

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Indiana University

The best school in the country because of its amazing parties and top tier business (Ranked top 10 along with MIT and UPenn), journalism and performing arts programs. Located in Bloomington Indiana, the coolest place in the world. Known as the best school in Indiana, as to Purdue Community College which is the worst. IU has the greatest, most loyal fans in the country...Hoosier fans. Also, student for student, IU students could outdrink and totally kick the crap out of any other students at ANY university in the world.

Indiana University is the #1 Dream School in the country

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University of Texas

1. A school known primaryily for its football, though it has three less national titles than it's superior rivals Oklahoma.

2. A school embarrassingly immune to logical or coherant thought, most exemplified by the God-awful nickname of it's mascot, BEVO!!!

Guy 1: God, who thought Bevo would be a good name for a mascot?

Guy 2: The University of Texas.

Guy 1: Oh, well that makes sense now.

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