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When your significant other wants you to deal with something that annoys them in avoidance. Usually making you to appear to be the asshole.
I’m tired of doing my husbands dirty work. Like I’m an asshole conduit for his shit. Instead of dealing with crap himself, he pushes it off on me making me look like the asshole for trying to keep the peace. FML.
Where you take the massive, most painful shit, that is at least the temperature of the sun.
Even after you finish shitting it still feels like your ass turned into a volcano.
*Jake*: Dude did you ever get molten asshole?
*Andy*: Yeah dude that shit burns
*Jake*: I try to get toilet bowl water in there to cool it down
*Andy*: lolwut
The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.
With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.
when inmates shove weed so far up their rectum it doesn’t come out when the cough for an asshole check.
guys i coughed so hard and my asshole weed didn’t come out of my asshole
An asshole from Arkansas. Said asshole will go to any lengths to defend the state including uttering delusional sentences such as “Arkansas is the best place in America”.
Dude1 : Arkansas is the natural state! The absolute best!!! Yesssssss!!!!
Dude2 : Geez, you Arkansas Asshole.
When someone tries to put an optimistic spin on an unfotmunate situation, but has a sarcastic intent, and ends up subtly coming off as an asshole.
"It's cool that you have no car like everyone else," said Lucas, "now you can have fun riding your bike everywhere." In a show of asshole optimism.
A completely clean, almost white asshole with no leaves on the trees.
"Ah man, I'm so glad that girl I was with had a January Asshole. Otherwise I might have something worse than just this hangover."