church

somewhere you need to go

Person A) i love watching videos of big men's oily feet

Person B) you need to go to church

church

the best cat ever

OMG Church is the BEST cat ever.

Church

A place I don’t go to because I want to die and live in hell.

I don’t go to church because I am not Christian and I want my Uber Eats from hell to arrive soon.

church

its a building where brainwashed people enter to pray to nothing,mostly elders.
If there are multiple churches nearby then its an obssesion of the priest to brainwash you especially if you are an atheist,someone who dont believes in god

A: Look at that building. What is that?
B: Its a church never go near it and especially in.

wank in church

The act of masturbating in a church or any other religious setting.

What did you do this weekend?
I had a wank in church.
Ok...
Yeah, the priest wasn't too happy but he saw a choir boy and did the same.

Toblerone church

The religion of the Tobleronian people. It allows the people to eat one Toblerone per week, on Tobleronsday. If the Lord has been disobeyed the sinner will be sacrificed via Tobleroning. Bob would be a good example, as he was the first sinner.

We are going to Toblerone church this Tobleronsday.

The church can save this country

All you have to do is whatever I say forever regardless of whether or not the direct or peripheral effect of doing that is bad and regardless of the outcome...

A muffin "The church can save this country!"

Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"

A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."

Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."

A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."

Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"

A muffin "Correct."

Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"

A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."