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God

A word that some Earthlings use to refer to a magical man who judges everyone at some point in the future, who might have a son, and who might be an elephant. This man is somewhat of a wizard, using his magical powers to kill bad Earthlings while they’re alive, or burn them for a long time if they die. The wizard lives in a place called Heaven, which is somewhere in the clouds—or, if you believe meterologists and NASA scientists, *not* in the clouds, but still somehow above us, possibly in another dimension, or something similar. This is just one aspect of the wizard’s magic. Earthlings who like this wizard object to other Earthlings calling him magical, preferring the term ‘divine’. They have been known to invade Jerusalem when people get some of the minor details about him wrong.

Steve believed in God the wizard, but not very much, as he had never invaded Jerusalem.

by Jonah Rowley March 25, 2008

6👍 18👎


god

you think kissin' god's feet will get you to heaven and not the other people? what is hell if god forgives are actions and has compassion? god loves us all right? at least thats wat beleivers say. anyways if i had 2 kids i wouldnt be only loving the one who kisses my ass. how lame... i cant get how people that beleive in god are so certain and sure that they are right. at least have a doubt. maybe there is some force cause i dont know how the f*** the universe was made but cut the loving and peacefull guy crap. and how the f*** that special guy was made? he just appeared like that. I never saw him so i cant say that he exist..but im not gonna kiss anyones ass cause maybe hes there. what is jesus have to do wit this? the son of god....plz....get ur s*** straight, god makes some people to kill eachother, then send them to hell, if god made me, if i kill someone, dont blame me, god didnt created me with the capacity of sustain myself. so now i have to go to hell? come on...what kind of illogical s*** is that. he cant blame me, nobody told me the purpose of life was love and peace. you only learn that in human society. its all about survival, good example, animals, w/e they need for survival, its the instincs, eat, sleep and fight other animals or same species that will sometimes lead to death. now ur only excuse would be that he made us wit free will...nigga plz, that would be too perfect, and its not, since we got mental illness and retards that can only ''sit on their ass and scrap off their hairchest while looking at you screaming GNN, GNN!.

God made humans, animals, every little dot in ur eyes, all ur body system. So perfect, yet, killing for no reasons all over the planet. why god wouldn be able to make it perfect everywhere if he designed every peice of my brain.

everyone that says that god is great because he gave us a life, im suppose to thank that? ROFL gg owned thx

set ur mind straight thats the only thing that matters
''war and hate''

by deep4life November 15, 2005

11👍 41👎


God

hes real and he's my saviour
all you others guys that pay him out suck

warren is gay

by warren is gay January 17, 2004

12👍 45👎


God

A being who is a caring, loving person. Millions have died for their faith for a good GOSHDAMNED reason!!
so, all you faggots who keep saying 'God doesn't exist' should go kill youselves.
If God doesn't exist, then how the heck were we made???
Exactly. There is force better than us and his name is GOD.
So all you stupid people shut the fuck up.

"If you follow God, when you go to heaven, you recieve eternal life."

by biffle May 17, 2008

8👍 27👎


God

A person who convinced The Who world that he can control everything and he will drop you in a fiery Pitt if you don’t suck his dick. Also he drops bricks and calls them laws: sorry “commandments”, ‘cause you don’t actually have a choice.

Jesus: “God dammit!”

God: “Really nigga.”
Jesus: “ Oh sorry.”

by Jugga Biggs May 1, 2019

1👍 1👎


god

harry styles

Guy: Do you believe in god?

Girl: Yes, of course I believe in harry styles.

by hrrystyles April 7, 2022

1👍 1👎


god

first off... let’s take a moment.

God. capital G. not god. He ain’t no greek god. He is the one and only, God.

this mans brought His only son down to earth and what did His son do? He carried the cross that he was meant to die on, got nailed to that cross, died and went to heaven, RESSURECTED, came back down to earth seeing all his buddies confusing the heck out of them, not only did he resurrect, he also ascended back up to heaven. This was all done by who? oh yeah God. So please, THE LEAST you can do is capitalize his name. You capitalize your name don’t you? Well this guy is 100x more powerful than you i’m surprised we don’t capitalize His whole name.

Uneducated person: “Oh god please help me

Educated person: “Oh God, please help me.”
(who do you think God is going to help? because the first person is just breaking the first commandment. the second is actually asking Him for help. think about that)

by calvinklien January 19, 2018

1👍 1👎