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Ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time
Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
I was going to grow some herbs but I couldn't find the thyme...
They're finally making a movie called clocks. It's about time.
What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second hand information.
We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.
What happens when you annoy a clock? It gets ticked off.
What did the robber say to the clock? Hands up!
Why did the man sit on his clock? He wanted to be on time.
If I wanted to have the time of my life, I would work in a clock shop.
I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in...
Why didn’t the clock work? It needed a hand.
When a person, usually your spouse or in-law, tries to pin you down to a certain time even though they know certain aspects are out of your control and they are pretty aware you will be not arriving when they want you to.
After the question is posed in several ways, the offender usually succumbs and blurts out a time they know will make the spouse happy but is totally implausible, thus hanging themselves based on the time they were coerced into stating.
Wife: So what time will you be home tonight?
Husband: I am not sure because of this 5pm meeting today and the usual traffic.
Wife: Usually you are home at 5:45, so maybe you will be here like 5:50?
Husband: When I get home at 5:45 I do not have 5pm meetings on those days so it is hard to say
Wife: How long is your meeting?
Husband: I'm not running it so I am not sure
Wife: Traffic shouldn't be too bad since it's friday so you can probably get here by 6pm I would think, don't you?
Husband: yeah sure 6pm
The husband was effectively put in a clock-noose
The sound of tousands of electronic seagulls being skinned alive in order to wake your dumbass in the morning for a longer day of bullshit
1: I need to be up earlier than I want to be and before I would naturally wake up
2: Set an alarm clock
1: oh yes the only option I have that I still want to reject despite having no other option because I live alone
2: I'm here for you
A homemade bomb; specifically one with a timer.
Better get outta here soon, the alarm clock is gonna go off!
A physiological horror of the morning involving a sound most likely a beep over and over. Used in the CIA as a tactic then removed because it was inhumane.
John had his alarm clock go off this morning. He is now in a mental hospital given drugs because the ptsd is to severe.
A demonic thing that deprives you of what's rightfully yours. A.k.a. sleep
SHUT THAT FUCKING ALARM CLOCK OFF!!
The demon box that is quiet until you want to sleep.
MY FUCKING ALARM CLOCK WONT WAKE ME UP!