the lesser of two evils

when one is presented with 2 bad choices. the person chooses the one that has less of a consequence.

my mom wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes but i didnt want her too. it was either
1.) i let her drive drunk to get them herself
2.) i get her the pack of cigarettes
i chose to get her a pack of cigarettes because it was the lesser of two evils

64👍 8👎

Two week method

Technique for winning over a girl. After establishing to the girl that you care about her and want her, you ignore her at all cost for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, text her “I miss you.”

Guy 1: bro, this girls playing hard to get, what should I do?
Guy 2: Hit her with the two week method, the tension will make her want you more.

33👍 3👎

two dudes

Characters created by mrandmrswheatley.co.uk (see also b3ta). Probably appearing in a margarine advert very soon.

Dude 1: "Dude, you are sooooo gay"
Dude 2: "I think you'll find you're gay"
Dude 1 "I'm sorry, did you say you were gay?"

3👍 15👎

two second slider

A crap that takes only a couple of seconds to take; shoots out like a rocket; comes out very smoothly... A SHIT THAT IS UNIQUE BECAUSE WHEN YOUR ASS IS WIPED, THERE IS NO SHIT ON THE TOILET PAPER; A COMPLETELY CLEAN SHIT.

"oh man, i only like taking a shit if its a two second slider- otherwise, i feel dirty when i wipe..."

Two feet and a heartbeat

Its a saying which to describe someone whos able. Possibly to do something for themselves or walk somewhere.

Friend: Can you pass me the remote?
Me: You got two feet and a heartbeat you go get it

two second style

Quickly, in a hurry, pronto, hasty, fast, etc.

Relax, just wait, I'll be at your house fucking two second style.

Two week list

A two week list is a list of the people who must not be allowed to live longer than you. Therefore, when you are told you have two weeks to live it is time to start checking off the names on your list.

It's basically a bucket list of murder.

That's it! I'm putting you on my two week list. You better hope I don't get sick!