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When one finally drops a quality hot and steamy log that hangs from ass to toilet water after extreme constipation and does not realize that it has not detached from the anal cavity, causing him/her to proceed with the wiping process, and violently "smash" through the log. It is called a "surprise" because the victim usually responds with "HOLY SHIT!" or "MY BUNG HOLE!" or "DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!"
1. "I was walking past the bathroom while my brother was taking a shit and I heard the beginning poot but did not here the ending splash that usually follows. I realized what was happening and immediately yelled 'DICK, WAIT!....but it was too late..he had experienced his first Chinese Log Smash Surprise."
2. "After 3 weeks of being constipated I had taken my glory dump, not knowing that the magnificent log had not detached. As I went to wipe (from front to back) I had my 5th Chinese Log Smash Surprise this month!"
3. "After his Chinese Log Smash Surprise, Jim's hand never recovered..."
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When three dudes try to stick their dicks in the same hole, all at once. Could be a woman's vagina, butthole, mouth, nostrils... could be a man's butthole, if you want to be gay about it.
All three guys got shit on their dicks when they accidentally created a three way log jam.
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To examine your shit before you flush and find logs that remind you a people.
Dude, I found a shit log look-a-like today after I flushed, one little turd made it back and it looked just like Dog Chapman.
Dude I find the Dog in my shits all the time. He is a wrinkled old fuck.
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When a mozzarella stick is used as a phalic object to pack in the goods, then eaten immediately afterwards. Can be accompanied by either ranch dressing or marinara sauce…. Depending on geographic location or preference.
She had no idea why I ordered the extra mozzarella sticks with ranch! POW, Green Bay Log Jam - right to the bearded clam!
A group sexual event for males where 4 holes are cut into a pumpkin and fucked at once. The number of holes may span from a minimum of 3 to a maximum of 5, with 4 being the most comfortable. Afterward, the guy who finished last must carve the pumpkin into a jack-o'-lantern for display from his residence. This event is popular in southwest Colorado during autumn.
The Texan tourists rolled into town on their rental ATVs, unsuspecting of the upcoming weekend's festivities. Upon the sighting of a new jack-o'-lantern outside their motel door a couple days later, one of their wives excitedly questioned. The Texan man said, "Well darn tootin', Beatrice, I won that there at the Lake City Log Jam. Just a good ol' night out with the boys!"
A term used by beauties meaning "simmer down"
Guy: You got a problem baud?
You: Take a log off the fire pal
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basically, a turd that is filled with cum due to a person being screwed in the ass.
Ew! the local prostitute just said that she had to go dump her cream filled brownie logs!
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