shit my bricks

A phrase to describe something that makes you so livid that you can't compose coherent thoughts, something astounding. Another way to say "are you FUCKING kidding me?!"

Example:

Person A: "I got hit in the face with a snowball and now my parents are suing the school."
Person B: "That's absurd! Are you shitting my bricks?!?" OR "seriously? Don't shit my bricks."

bricks were shat

Verbal statement of a reaction. Applied to scenarios when you are/were stunned or bewildered.

Bob: Can you believe Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?

Bill: I know. Bricks were shat all over my new couch.

here comes the brick

Meaning "You will shit a brick when you hear this next thing I'm going to say."

Billy: I just watched The Sixth Sense, and you better put on your Depends because here comes the brick, Bruce Willis is dead the whole time.

Timmy: Lemme guess, you've been living under a rock for the past 10 years.

Billy: How'd you know that?

Listens like a brick

1. Fails to obey commands. Sits there and seems to listen, but then fails to respond in a commensurate way.

2. Hears good advice, then blatantly ignores it - and usually pays the price.

"That kid listens like a brick. I told him to stop wiping snot on the towels, and here it is again!"

"So did you hear? Sandy's house got robbed - again."
"Yeah, well, she listens like a brick. The police told her three times already to keep her doors locked. You'd think she would've learned by now."

Bricks were not shat

When you are not surprised a/o amazed by something, usually when someone claims that it is indeed amazing.

Can also be used in present tense: "Bricks are not shat."

Rachel claimed that her juggling trick was amazing and awe-inspiring, but alas, bricks were not shat.

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brick body

adver-noun:
any of the specimens resembling a female anatomically, but lacking shape which thusly identifies them as such; brickbodies usually have stick legs with large masses attached for a torso. The head apparatus is an obvious separation from the torso, and quite frankly, there isn't much to be desired visually from any aspect of the person.

Rontei: Hey, Shawty...here come ol'
biscuit and brickbody.

Teshaun: How can you tell them apart?

Rontei: Easy...one ain't got no neck,
and the other ain't got no legs.

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brick hoe

A brick hoe is someone who is of the prostitute type, and who has a very strong forearm from years of excercise.

j-lo, Britney Spears, and Bob Saget are brick hoes.

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