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When you have a big juicy Five Guys cheeseburger and 45 minutes later you shit yourself in the most embarrassing situation. This usually happens when the burger is made with jalapeños and hot sauce.
Last night I was hanging with Carol, and just about as I was ready to stick it in, I had a spontaneous shitting. It was all over he place. She laughed.
After taking a mean shit, an act of desperation, usually by the lazy, using a piece of clothing (your roommate's socks, a t-shirt, a bath towel etc.) to wipe your dirty ass after realizing you have absolutely no paper products whatsoever in your house.
Roommate Kevin : "Dude, where are all my socks & towels? I had a ton!"
Fat Jack: "Man, I gotta confession to make. I've been too lazy to buy TP, so I've been wiping my ass clean with your socks & towels & then throwing them away."
Roommate Kevin: "Please tell me you're fucking joking, you lazy fat fuck! Why don't you use your own socks when you Macgyver Shit?!"
A case of diarrhoea so bad, it enables you to fit into clothes you haven't worn in years.
"I got food poisoning at the weekend; upside was I can fit into my skinny jeans again! Best case of vanity shits ever!"
The gastrointestinal consequence upon the consumption of nicotine after having just woken up from a long nap or night of sleep. Symptoms of The Nic Shits include stomach cramps, bowel movements, and on the rare occasion, diarrhea.
Person 1: Sorry I'm late bro, I got the nic shits this morning after I hit my juul in the shower.
Person 2: All good man, we've been there.
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Those who refute science with no evidence to back up their claims.
Kate doesn't understand the science behind vaccines. So instead of educating herself she became a shit puppet and started a pseudoscientific blog on facebook so she can spread misinfo to other shit puppets.
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When you take a shit and the first part of it is solid (aka the cork) but immediately afterwards the rest of it is diarrhea and comes blasting out and splatters all over the toilet bowl(just like champagne if you were to shake it up and release the cork)
I was taking a dump the other day and couldn't figure out how to describe it,It was so POWERFUL that it splattered everything in the bowl and the smell was so wretched that it had to be named. so some friends and I got together and coined the name Champagne shit
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