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Jesus Cold

A time when it is so cold outside that even Jesus Christ would complain about the cold.
See also: Jesus Hot, Jesus Cold, Jesus Lot, Jesus Sweet, Jesus Late, and Jesus Early

It was so Jesus Cold outside that i had to put on twenty layers of clothing and set the house on fire to keep warm.

by not_michael October 11, 2004

17๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Plastic Jesus

1. A Jesus figure made out of plastic
2. An item that gives serenity to its owner

I don't care if it rains or freezes, just as long as I have my plastic Jesus! - Chris Miller

by Ryan November 13, 2003

17๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


what the jesus?

Like saying "What the hell?" or "What the fuck?" with softer language. Used in response to a completely random or inappropriate comment.

>It burns when I pee.
>>What the Jesus?

by geoff April 22, 2005

17๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Cloud

When the sun is hidden behind a large cloud so that the light bounces all around the edges and creates an awesome shot of heavenly clouds. Unfortunately, cell phone cameras can never capture these epic views.

Bro: Whoa, look at that cloud, man!
Man: Dude that's epic.
Bro: Like, the light and stuff bouncing around.
Man: It's a Jesus Cloud!

by Ass Kicka January 18, 2012


Jesus Jive

A dance performed at a VBS or any very high energy worship service.

"Wow Mary Magdalene is really getting into her Jesus Jive!"

by Mablรฉ Rekrek July 28, 2014


Jesus FC

A term used by football enthusiasts in lieu of "Jesus Fucking Christ" whenever someone misses a really easy shot. Originally used to refer to Gabriel Jesus, but now can be used to refer to any player

Jesus FC, how does Balotelli miss that?

by j0k#r October 30, 2019


Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'

Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style

by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009