the man who fucked the monkey

The man who fucked the monkey which gave us aids. Someone who represents the pinnacle of human crapulence. A term reserved for the most joyless wastes of protoplasm that shit all over the earth, sell us the bucket and order us to clean it up.

So Mr Cameron, we have chronic inner city decay, one million children being brought up in abusive homes and young men coming back from Afghanistan in bits. What do you plan to do about it?

Tax cuts for the rich.

You are the man who fucked the monkey which gave us aids

24👍 16👎

I’m gay, who said that?

When you’re gay and somebody said that you are but you don’t know who said such things.

Him: You’re gay?
Him 2: I’m gay, who said that?

6👍 1👎

He Who Must Not Be Named

Harry Potter's Wizarding World's most feared Dark Magic Wizard named Lord Voldemort or He Who Must Not Be Named/You Know Who.

Friend: Who do you fear most?
Me: He Who Must Not Be Named
Bully: Disappointing. You didn't die. Who's gonna kill you then
Me: He Who Must Not Be Named
Teacher: I saw you copying someone's test. Tell me!
Me: He Who Must Not Be Named

5👍 1👎

The guy who killed hitler

Hitler.

Hitler is the guy who killed hitler

7👍 1👎

who wears the chastity belt

Refers to a person in a relationship who doesn't "put out." Typically it is a woman who does not want to have sex even in a committed relationship, but it can also refer to a guy not pleasing his woman or not committed to the relationship.

Dude: Man, my girl totally refuses to have sex with me.
Dude's Friend: Well we know who wears the chastity belt in the relationship!

6👍 1👎

girl who cried wolf

A girl who cries wolf is an all to common occurence in today's society. If a guy makes advances towards a girl that likes him, he's a hunk, cutie, or sweetiepie. If she doesn't like him, even with the exact same advances, he's a creeper, stalker or loner.
The girl will often retaliate by seeking to embarrass and spread all kinds of cruel rumours about the poor sap.
This often happens to any geek/nerd,skinny or shy guy that doesn't follow social etiquette and musters the courage to ask out a pretty or popular girl rather then pursuing the ugliest girl in school or simply remaining a virgin.

David, a nice,shy aw-shucks kind of kid who had a crush on kaydra, whose pretty grey-blue eyes made his heart skip everytime he saw here. One day he worked up the courage to give her a love-note is class. She was not impressed by this "loser" and became the girl who cried wolf ; spreading the rumour around school that David was gay.

77👍 66👎

the little engine who could

a verry dirty book that is sexual in a non-violent way and a very subtle sexual book

"have you ever read 'the little engine who could?"
"yeah what a dirty book!"

7👍 3👎