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Like saying "What the hell?" or "What the fuck?" with softer language. Used in response to a completely random or inappropriate comment.
>It burns when I pee.
>>What the Jesus?
A term used by football enthusiasts in lieu of "Jesus Fucking Christ" whenever someone misses a really easy shot. Originally used to refer to Gabriel Jesus, but now can be used to refer to any player
Jesus FC, how does Balotelli miss that?
When you or someone need Jesus.
Looks like this is going to be a crazy day today I need a cup of Jesus
A term coined by a person who doesn't know how to acurately perform an Australian accent. It loosely means "holy Hell?!"
Jesus crikey, that scared the absolute shit out of me!
A formal religion that exists in only certain minds. It is nearly impossible to join because Jesus is part of a clout gang.
Unfortunately, Tape Jesus is unavailable because his cult is worshipping him at the moment.
n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian
See also oh shit bar
Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit
So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above
In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'
Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style
A driver (male/female) known to ALWAYS allow others the right-of-way, often causing his/her passengers to become angry at them for being overly nice to any and all traffic.
Dan: "Dude, your dad is always letting other people go first, even when it's HIS turn. No wonder we're always late.."
Chris:"I know man, he's a total traffic jesus."