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An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.
(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)
"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"
When you proceed to jack your pet off and eventually use your mouth until they ejaculate
Mike attempted to perform pet masturbation but did it to hard and got bit
A person providing social commentary aimed at enforcing said person's superior knowledge and ethos of current moral / values and that which is politically correct. Social mastrubators are often failed / undiscovered political journalists and band together on social media where the opportunity to point out where a politically incorrect view is raised.
That tweet brought out social masturbators in full force.
When Steak & Blowjob day goes horribly wrong...
Adam - "Did you get Steak & Blowjob last night?"
Tom - "No, I had Keema & Masturbate Day, unfortunately."
The act of freezing ones foreskin to the point it snaps and cracks when one gets an erection.
"Don't pick a fight with me, or I'll Canadian Masturbate all over you!"
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