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When you poop in the toilet and water splashes your butthole, than immediately after you act fancy
I’m usually scared of an American bidet, but when the water got me, I actually liked it
When you poop in a porta potty and you get some of the blue water backsplash on your butt
Steve had Taco Bell and had to poop really bad and saw a porta potty, but ended up going in the woods because he didn’t want to give himself a Birmingham Bidet
When you realize that you are out of toilet paper in the middle of your BM and have to place your rear end under the sink/shower faucet and wash yourself off.
Dude, I forgot I was out of tp and had to use the old Bangkok Bidet, it was awful!
When you take a shit and when your little buddy (extremely large fat man sheeite) responds with a nice thtoink right to the ring piece (asshole)
Hey Johnny, last week I was in the fuckin McDonald's I ate 12 mcchickens I felt it comin so I ran to the McDonald's restroom, almost missed and got the worst unexpected bidet
When your peasant friends post memes of you on a bidet because they’re too fucking cheap to experience a kings throne in their own everyday life.
Patrick keeps sending photoshops of Mooch on the toilet. Man that dude has some serious bidet envy.
When releasing a very solid poop causes a splash of toilet water to blow back onto your ass. Thus negating the need to wipe.
I really let one go today and my poop gave me an auto-bidet.
When an individual has run out of toilet paper while camping and a good samaritan pisses on their asshole to clean it.
"Bro! Out of TP over here!"
"How about I give you a backwoods bidet bro?"
"Thanks bro!"