Random
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Random
When releasing a very solid poop causes a splash of toilet water to blow back onto your ass. Thus negating the need to wipe.
I really let one go today and my poop gave me an auto-bidet.
When an individual has run out of toilet paper while camping and a good samaritan pisses on their asshole to clean it.
"Bro! Out of TP over here!"
"How about I give you a backwoods bidet bro?"
"Thanks bro!"
When you poop in a porta potty and you get some of the blue water backsplash on your butt
Steve had Taco Bell and had to poop really bad and saw a porta potty, but ended up going in the woods because he didn’t want to give himself a Birmingham Bidet
When you take a shit and when your little buddy (extremely large fat man sheeite) responds with a nice thtoink right to the ring piece (asshole)
Hey Johnny, last week I was in the fuckin McDonald's I ate 12 mcchickens I felt it comin so I ran to the McDonald's restroom, almost missed and got the worst unexpected bidet
When you realize that you are out of toilet paper in the middle of your BM and have to place your rear end under the sink/shower faucet and wash yourself off.
Dude, I forgot I was out of tp and had to use the old Bangkok Bidet, it was awful!
When you poop in the toilet and water splashes your butthole, than immediately after you act fancy
I’m usually scared of an American bidet, but when the water got me, I actually liked it
When your peasant friends post memes of you on a bidet because they’re too fucking cheap to experience a kings throne in their own everyday life.
Patrick keeps sending photoshops of Mooch on the toilet. Man that dude has some serious bidet envy.