Random
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Random
-Suddenly awakening a woman by inserting the male penis deep and hard into her vagina.
Last night every time I fell asleep, my boyfriend kept waking me up with his cock alarm.
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when your lover indicates he wants to have sex by waking you up by pressing his boner into your body in the middle of the night
"You look tired girlfriend!"
"Yeah, the alarm cock went off like three times last night!"
"High five sistah!"
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It doesn't just have to be semen, it can be any liquid or powdered substance. Salt, pepper, sugar, hot sauce, anything goes.
The USMC drill sergeant has just woken up an oversleeping cadet by setting off the Lagasse alarm, throwing pepper on the man's face.
"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"
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When you wake up your girlfriend by slipping your moner (morning wood) into her vagina.
*Guy wakes up in the morning with a moner and sees girlfriend seeping*
Guy: "Well my girlfriend is sleeping, don't want her to miss breakfast. Wake up sunshine!"
*Sticks his moner into her vagina*
Girl: "WHAT THE FUCK!!!"
Guy: "There is your alarm cock. I'm glad to see you awake."
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A device that sounds an alarm at a specific time, waking you up. Some alarm clocks go off 30-45 minutes after its set time, either making you late or unprepared.
My alarm clock woke me up at 6:45 today. I didn't have time to eat a good breakfast, so I fell asleep in class.
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The act of teabagging a sleeping person, waking them up in the process.
I could feel his nuts on my face...it was a total silent alarm.
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When you think you have to shit, but only fart into the bowl when you try to do so.
When you go to change your baby's dirty diaper (because it smells like shit) and find it empty.
Dave: 30 minutes wasted due to a fart alarm.
Melissa: dammit Dave that's the 4th time today. eat a burrito and shit already.
Mom: change your sons diaper. He smells like shit!
Dad: Fart Alarm... Diaper is empty. You were right Honey; he is my son!
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