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1 - The antonym of England, and, in certain cases, of U.S.
2 - The richiest land of the Roman Empire (Galia)
3 - The winner of several wars and battles
4 - The land of the Liberty, the Equality, and the Fraternity
5 - Homeland of the French people
6 - Great producer of wine and cheese
7 - Country with the better culinary of the world
8 - Ally of the americans in their Independence War
A English: What do you think about waterloo?
A French: What do you think about Joana d'Arc?
A English: What do you think about... ehr...
A French: What do you think about the American independence War?
A English: ...
A French: How's about Austerlitz? And the Somme?
A English: ...
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A English: I shall go to France. Then I'll wrote my name on the Eiffel Tower and say that we are better educated in England.
14👍 15👎
Weird Faggot: I'm going to France!!!
Smart dude: dude, France is a giant sausage fest
20👍 27👎
The only country in world history that has a war record of 1-15. With their only war won being the French Revolution, which by a happy chance was a war composed of only French on both sides. Which in theory means that they both lost and won the French Revolution, so if I was an asshole I could say the French have never in history won a legitament war that was against any formidable opponent. By the way, in America if you don't finish first your last. So.....ties don't count.
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.
- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War
- Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States Entering the war late -ed.. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
72👍 120👎
A rumored country to exist, but doesn't.
Mark: "Hey, have you heard of France before?"
Oui Oui Baguette Benjamin: "Yes, I have heard of it, but it is definitely not real. Don't listen to everything you hear on the news Mark."
Mark: "Okie doke."
Could totally wreck Germany now a days.
Guy: France is actually more powerful than Germany now.
1. A country in western Europe, bordered with the English channel and Belgium in the North, Germany, Switzerland, and Italy in the East, and Spain in the South
2. A country that loves to surrender
1. Where did you buy that champanye? i bought it from France
2. Haha France surrendered in WW2