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Malachi Crunch

1. Demolition Derby maneuver in which two contestants working in tandem crash into an opponent simultaneously from opposite sides, thereby creating the effect of a trash compactor. Coined in an episode of Happy Days, when the Malachi Brothers execute this maneuver on Pinky Tuscadero's car at the climax of the demolition derby. Pinky survived.

2. Any wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.

3. Lascivious maneuver in which a female with ample bosom attacks a passed-out concert-goer with said bosoms, placed on either side of said concert-goers head, and subsequently crushing that head.

"Jen gave John a Malachi Crunch after he passed out in his seat at the Rush concert."

by JizzleDizzle September 6, 2007

166๐Ÿ‘ 17๐Ÿ‘Ž


Malachi Crunch

A wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.

"Oh my god, did you hear?! Paulyo was on his vespa riding between two cars on Pine St when he was full on Malachi Crunch(ed). He survived -- his bike's mirrors, not so much!"

by PookieBear123 November 17, 2018

13๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Dirty Malachi

When a man gets pegged while listening to black metal

God I'm SO ready to get a Dirty Malachi later

by DirtyMalachi April 1, 2020

21๐Ÿ‘ 16๐Ÿ‘Ž


Dirty malachi

Beat the fuck off

Iโ€™m bouta dirty malachi bro

by Niggaballs538191 October 11, 2021


Malachi Crunch

Whe a mans head gets in between 2 vaginas and they smash against his head til they both cum

Justin got Malachi Crunched by Melissa and Naomi.

by Justin Urmouth December 28, 2018

13๐Ÿ‘ 33๐Ÿ‘Ž


Malachi mamea

Retarded black kid that has a small penis

Hey Malachi Mamea

by Malachi mamea February 6, 2019

1๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


malachi holder

Ugly ASS NIGGA MALACHI HOLDER
Ewwwwww solo ugly

Uglyy ewwww Malachi holder

by Francis Strongberg March 22, 2018

1๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž