Jesus Christ shit fuck

What goes through your mind when you are trying to watch a program and the person with the remote keeps rewinding, pausing,and playing segments back in slow motion

Jesus Christ shit fuck.... I wish Sean's dad would put the remote down... It will be two in the fucking morning before Americas got talent is over

Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

Commonly found amongst Wattpad Fanfiction short stories-

I was resting in my bed, reading a Wattpad Cole Sprose fanfiction when suddenly Cole appears in the doorway!
I smile but my expression quickly changes as he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall.
He whispers softly in my ear, and I can feel his hot breath on my neck, “Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”
“Amen.” I whisper back.
Suddenly, I am rudely awoken by my alarm clock and I cry as I realize I’ll never be able to talk to Cole about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

8👍 5👎

The second coming of Jesus Christ

Someone that can turn their poop into wine.

Random guy: "I'm the second coming of Jesus Christ."

Eric Andre: " PROVE IT. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE- TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE-"

7👍 3👎

Jesus Christ up the asshole

Someone so religious that they would take Jesus' dick up the asshole if the bible said so.

Dude your girlfriend would take Jesus Christ up the asshole before you.

15👍 9👎

jesus christ is my nigga

jesus christ is a nigger

Well, I wrote this song for the Christian youth
I wanna teach kids the Christian truth
If you wanna reach those kids on the street
Then you gotta do a rap to a hip-hop beat
So I gave my sermon an urban kick
My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick
My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger
That's 'cause Jesus Christ is my nigga
Woo!

14👍 9👎

Jesus Christ in a cardigan sweater

1. An exclamation used when in pain or shock.

2. The indie Jesus.

1. Guy: "Jesus Christ in a cardigan sweater! That fucking hurt!"

2. Person: "So I ran into Jesus at Urban Outfitters today..."

9👍 6👎

Jesus christ monkey balls

Originally used by Eric Cartman in South park.
-Used to describe something obscenely awesome or cool.

Friend 1- Hey, I just bought the first copy of Grand Theft Auto 4, want to go play it?
Friend 2- Holy Jesus Christ Monkey Balls yeah!

50👍 53👎