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The redneck characteristic list:
(1) Their official sport is Nascar. Nascar races are nothing but redneck conventions.
(2) They lack spelling skills.
(3) They can't pronounce things well, hence their accents.
(4) They find duct tape on a car sexy.
(5) They find great potential in 30-40+ year old cars/trucks.
(6) They haven't the slightest clue what sarcasm is.
(7) They think old license plates and coins are great things to colllect.
(8) Some use "fart" as a swear word. (Example: "fart u!++")
(9) Country music is ALL they listen to. Anything else is just a total blasphemy!
(10) Very few are computer literate. The ones who are tend to replace proper punctuation with numbers and plus signs. (Example: "wat r u doin33+")
(11) Incest is a popular passtime among rednecks.
(12) They severely lack logic and reasoning.
(13) Their favorite color is plaid.
(14) Proudly flies the confederate flag.
(15) If a redneck lives on a civil war battleground, he will think that his house is haunted with civil war ghosts.
(16) Roaches, they're not pests, they're a redneck's best friend.
(17) Some tend to keep old Pepsi bottles of urine.
(18) If by small chance they're computer literate, they'll spend hours on eBay looking at old rusted down cars thinking of how much life it has left.
(19) A redneck using MSN Messenger will spam when he is angry or things don't go his way.
(20) They tend to go head over heals over any girl they think is 'cute'
(21) Some who claim to be "proud rednecks" are no longer proud to be redneck once they discover what incest is.
All of these are real based on this one redneck that I know. I'm not making anything up. Examples of how a redneck would talk through MSN Messenger is below
"fart u"
"i luv nascar+"
"kewl! a new lisence pl8 arived in the mail today!33+"
"talk ffs u633+"
"3...+"
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If you want to get technical, a redneck is someone who does a lot of hard labor out in the sun and therefore their neck turns red from sunburn. And for all the shit these people take, without 'em there wouldn't be a whole lot of food in this nation.
Generally, rednecks are white people possessed of traditional values, although some are rowdier. They work hard, love their families, and raise quality young men who have moral standing. While not all attend college, rednecks tend to have a strong advantage when it comes to common sense, and the ones that do go to college are some of the best people we have in the United States ( See George W. Bush ).
For all you assholes who stereotype them, the next time you see a redneck boy chopping wood at noon remember he's probably been up since four and done twice the work in an hour as you've done in a week. And then remember that he'll someday have a loving wife and kids who'll be with him all his life, while you stew in the bile of a divorce over your homosexual affair and lose custody of your goth-punk S.O.B. druggie brats. And then remember that he can kick your ass across his 600 acres of farmland without even trying. So be respectful.
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My definition of Redneck is as follows:
1. A White person who, after a hard day of work and a good homecooked supper reads the ridiculous definitions of redneck on the internet.
2. A White person who is laughing their ass off at redneck criticizers online who have so many typos in their comments, it's almost hysterical, but definitely hypocritical. It's hard to take somebody seriously when they are attacking someone elses intelligence and they can't spell a word themselves.
3. A redneck can hail from any state in the United States. We are NOT relegated to the South. Rednecks laugh and shake their heads when they read things like we sleep with our dads and brothers, because it's almost unheard of, realistically speaking.
4. A redneck can change your oil or your tire with his eyes closed. They don't have to call triple A to come rescue them when their car breaks down, like most city slickers do. They can venture off into the woods and bring home supper, like a real man should be able. Aint nothin' like a fresh killed deer, city folks. Venison is low in fat, for you health conscious yuppies.
5. Rednecks generally have traditional values and are not afraid to say it like they see it. A redneck knows that no black guy would say anti-redneck things to his face. Not with that well stocked gun rack on his jacked up pickup, no sir!
6. "Aint skeered"- two redneck males owned a fireworks stand in the country. 4 black males from NY stopped their Honda and got out to try to rob them. The redneck boys grabbed their shotguns and chased the city boys back to their crappy import and they took off. True story. That is the spirit of the redneck.
7. You're in a bank when a robber walks in with a gun and threatens to blow everyone away. He demands the money and is about to shoot the female teller dead when he suspects she is sounding the alarm. While you liberal gun control freaks are pissing your pants, the redneck takes out his legal concealed pistol and blows the criminal away.
8.Yes, rednecks tend to live in rural areas. We like it this way because we are usually free of Africanus Criminalis.
"Datz won scarry lookin' redneck, Leroy- mahbee weez shoodnt carjack hiz whyte azz.."
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someone who considers their pick-up trucka mobile motel 6
Redneck walked into a motel,"Can I get a room?"
Desk person points to the no vacancy sign.
Redneck,"Well you should put that out front,"then walks out side,opens his sleepin bag and after a few beers,and an after dinner smoke,goes to sleep.
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Stone Cold Steve Austin
He is the bionic Red Neck.
Usually will be driving a pick-up and have a shirt that is refered to as a "Wife Beater"
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Fisting a female (usually) while holding a beer can in the same hand that is doing the fisting. (Too lazy to take the beer can out of your hand while having a romantic fisting session.)
Oh Cletus, did you perform The Redneck on my mother? How Romantic...
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When you are better then everybody else, and therefore do whatever the hell you feel like. You couldn't care less what some city boy thinks about you.
I'm a redneck, and you fuckin' citiots who think we're beneath you can drive your latte drinkin, suit wearin', dumbass point of views the hell outta of "Hickville". WE DON'T WANT YOU EITHER!!!!!!!
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