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An illinois toddler fondle is when you are having sex with a pregnant girl while getting a handjob from the unborn child.
"I didnt know she was pregnant until I felt the good ol' Illinois Toddler Fondle"
79👍 17👎
When a cock is so microscopic, it barely juts out of the skin, much like that of a small boy whose balls have yet to descend.
"Listen to that motherfucker yell across the room. That dude wants everyone to notice him."
"I bet that fucking dude is hung like a toddler or some shit."
"Yup, yup. Total buster."
15👍 14👎
This person is definitely a Dream Stan or self proclaimed Dreamsexual or DreamGender, obviously this persons parents stopped trying to take care of this toddler hopefully they realize how much they are mocking the LGBTQ+
Person 1: I’m a dream stan!
Person 2: Dream stan toddler!
2👍 1👎
When you can't eat dairy shyt cause youre gassy shyt will make err one flee fo the woods
"Dam dogg no chesse fo me!"
"Im lack-toast-in-toddler-ant and i get hella gassy my homeskilit buscuit"
83👍 32👎
Toddlers reasoning is when two or more people go way out of hand just to win a fight/roleplay to where everything goes to nonsense and very annoying
Kid 1: hah I've got you with this laser gun
Kid 2: well I've got a force field
Kid 1: well these are force field breaking lasers
Kid 2: well I have a force field that resists against force field breaking lasers
KID 1: well I have a sword that breaks force field breaking laser resistant force fields
I step in
Me: stop using toddler's reasoning
Kid 1: why should I
Me: because it's annoying
When somebody's fit is put together so poorly it resembles something an infant would wear if they dressed themselves.
Heels stuck in the bottom of their pants, dragging. Belt buckle off to the side and not centered. Misaligned buttons on a button down. Shirts on backwards and/or inside out. This is all toddler fashion.