If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will

As we live our lives, we study, make friends, hit finals, fall in love, run the table, strive for greatness, and just enjoy life's ride. We may learn many facts in life, but if we can take just one important fact from life it would be:

"If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will!"

There's no saying in life that has more truth to it. You can't argue with this great fact of life hence why it is becoming one of the most famous friggin' sayings in our world today.

Here's what it all boils down to idiots. "If you don't hit that damn final, someone else will" is very simple. If we were to put it on the friggin' scale of simplicity, i'd say it's a 9.872. Just think in your mind If I don't hit that damn final, someone else will. Meaning, If I can't hit that damn final, and i'm relying on my partner to hit the damn final, but their relying on me to hit the damn final, then neither of us is gunna hit the damn final and we're gunna lose the friggin' game. It's that friggin simple morons, ya know.

P.s. The DAMN is a vital part of the famous saying!

22👍 15👎

When all else fails, get a bigger hammer

AFTER thoroughly reading the instruction manual, of course, to see if that might help you to get it to work properly without resorting to such drastic measures :D

Seasoned mechanic, talking to an elderly long-retired grease-monkey buddy on the phone: I have a '58 Ford 350 two-ton flatbed here with a frozen rear brake-drum --- I've tried WD-40, I've tried penetrating-oil, I've banged on it with a two-pound sledge, and then even a five-pound sledge, but it still refuses to budge... any ideas?
Aged grease-monkey: Yes, indeed, Son --- get an eight-pounder and really have at it.
Seasoned mechanic, in plaintive shock: But... but... I'll BREAK it if I do THAT!
Aged grease-monkey, confidently: No, you won't --- trust me --- those beefy old solid-iron brakes are made extra-tough, specifically to safely withstand the extra force of being overhauled like this. Just get up your nerve and really clobber on it!
Mechanic, hesitantly: Okaayyy... if you say so... hold the line... gets a huge sledge hammer and reluctantly but resolutely bashes the ancient brake drum, then steps back in wide-eyed surprise when the ponderous hammer just harmlessly bounces off; emboldened, he rears back and really takes a mighty swing at the drum again, knocking the drum loose and sending it flying halfway across the shop. He picks it up and is flabbergasted to see that it is still fully intact, and with only a very minor surface-scuffing. So he lifts the phone again in pleased bewilderment Wow --- you were right... it came off with just two whacks, and I didn't damage it at all!
Aged mechanic: See? Tolja it would be okay... when all else fails, get a bigger hammer!

4👍 2👎

you're not better than anyone else

Some thing that idiots say. Who either don't have the brain cells or don't feel like coming up with something original to say. People who say this all of the time to everybody are usually pretty cliche human beings. They believe that everyone thinks they're better than everyone.

Person 1: Carey didn't clean the living room yet because she says that she has too much homework.

Person 2: Really Carrie? You're not better than anyone else.

1👍 10👎

once you go white, nothing else seems right

popular 70´s line coined after "once you go black ..."

- So you really want to date that white neighbor of yours?
You better be careful, sister. You know what they say: once you go white, nothing else seems right.

25👍 10👎

to put one's smoke out in someone else's ice cream

1. To be much better at something than someone else
2. To diss someone so thoroughly that no comeback is possible

to put one's smoke out in someone else's ice cream:
1. Rickie Lee Jones puts her smoke out in Edie Brickell's ice cream (thanks to lexicondevil at The Onion AV Club)
2. That queen tried to diss my outfit, but then I totally put my smoke out in her ice cream.

12👍 3👎

it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hoes again

that creepy thing buffalo bill would say in the movie the silence of the lambs when he wanted those girls to rub lotion on them selves

guy 1: hey phil it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hoes again.
phil: dude stop you know buffalo bill killed my mom

120👍 85👎

National This is the only national thing this month everything else is fake

Ur mom and Jenna are protected this month from all of those haters

Ur mom and Jenna are protected and national National This is the only national thing this month everything else is fake