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When you travel from Tolono to Hessel Park just to rub one out to the kids playing on the splash pad.
Hey, did you see the school board president giving himself the Hessel Handi the other day.
God work sucked today I could really go for a Hessel Handi.
When one finger blasts a female so hard that the female is no longer able or willing to walk correctly, thereby needing a wheelchair.
Holy shit bro, did you see that chick? She can barely walk. Yeah my guy just gave her a wheelchair handy.
A hand job given apathetically and out of pity. During the hand job things are often said such as "are you almost there?" and it's not uncommon to make a phone call, smoke a cigarette, or text a friend during the encounter.
I don't really like that guy, but I'd toss him a pity-handy if he asked.
The art of using a drunken, unconscious friends hand to jack yourself off until completion.
Last night Matt was so drunk and unconcious that I used his hand to give me a Handy Randy; I came on his face for added effect.
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It is German for "my phone/mobile/cellphone", and is use infamously by Stephen Fry in an episode of QI, whereby he groped himself while stating "MEIN HANDY!" in a Germanic accent.
"MEIN HANDY!"
"Ver ist mein Handy?"
"Oh, mein Handy"
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The act of ones mate giving them a hand job, but right before ejaculation, turns it right back at the ejaculator
Man it was going great with this chic until she got scared and pulled a handy Mandy!
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Friend: How'd it go last night?
Reply: Man, all I got was a dry handy.
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